Conjured

Aidan disappeared and reappeared behind the Magician. He tried to knock into him, but the Magician was prepared. Sidestepping Aidan, the Magician levitated the ritual knife to Aidan’s throat.

Aidan didn’t move. “I don’t have any memories because I lied. We were never together. I knew she’d lost her memories. I manufactured a relationship so she’d trust me.”

The doll swiveled her head to stare at him.

“Okay, that’s the opposite of helpful. Wait … really? It was only me?” Zach’s face lightened. “Eve, listen to me. What we had was real. You care about me. You know you do! I’d be a rotten hostage if you didn’t care. You have feelings. You are real!”

She now stared at Zach. She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t help it.

“You’ve made yourself real! Maybe you didn’t start out that way. Maybe you weren’t born. Maybe your childhood was crap. Well, guess what? My childhood was crap too. After Sophie died … I was just someone else to blame, another person who wasn’t watching, who wasn’t careful enough, never mind that I was a kid too. My existence was only a reminder of her absence. But it doesn’t matter what happened in the past or what other people think of you in the present. What matters is who you are. And you … you’re amazing, Eve! You created yourself! He didn’t make you. You did it! You formed yourself! And that’s extraordinary.”

The doll couldn’t stop staring at Zach. He doesn’t lie, she thought.

“Enough,” the Magician said. He sucked in the doll’s breath, and the doll felt herself rise into the air. She floated to the circle and was lowered into the center. Knife still at Aidan’s throat, the Magician levitated him as well, laying him near the doll.

“Eve, listen to me,” Zach said. “The roses in the bookshelves, the painting with the real water, the books that flew around us, the way we flew … Remember how it felt.” She did remember. She’d loved the way it felt with their arms around each other, rising into the air. That had been real. What she’d felt … what I’d felt had been real.

“I said, enough.” The Magician flicked his hand toward Zach, and a scrap of cloth plastered itself over his mouth, silencing him. But it didn’t block Zach’s eyes. Zach was looking at me exactly the same way he had when I wore the body of a beautiful human girl, instead of a cloth face with green marble eyes. He was looking at me as if he saw me, all of me, as if I were real and whole and unbroken. I saw myself through his eyes.

I saw me.

As the Magician knelt beside Aidan, I said, “You must miss her. You must feel some sadness, some regret, some human emotion. I do. I miss her.”

He positioned Aidan’s body within the chalk circle.

I continued. “I miss the way she used to brush my hair, strand by strand, while she told me stories. I miss how she’d make the marionettes dance. Do you remember our life together? We lived in a forest for a time under the trees, and we watched the acrobats swing and twist in the air. And we lived on a pier in a harbor. You’d use the magic in me for beautiful things: to change both of you into seabirds and fly out over the waves, to make the rain dance as it fell, to grow hundreds of roses in an instant … Your shows were pure joy, and your audiences loved you, but your performances weren’t for them. Every one you did, every bit of stolen magic you used, was for her; everything was always for her—to make her happy and to keep her safe. Because of how she made you feel. Safe. Strong. Magical.”

He wasn’t listening.

He had to listen.

I thought of the Storyteller—how she could command the full attention of any audience with the tone of her voice. “Once upon a time, there was a boy who was afraid.” I said it in the way the Storyteller would say it, drawing on her memories of how to weave a tale. “He was afraid of dying, of hurting, of being weak, of being powerless, of being helpless, of failing, of humiliating himself, of being alone, of growing old, of never being safe … and the fear ate him inside.”

The Magician drew the knife, but he moved more slowly, as if the air had thickened.