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“Fleas and lice have a tendency to jump from one carrier to the next, sis. It only takes them a fraction of a second to contaminate Max and the others, not to mention your home. Do you really want to wake up tomorrow morning with your head full of lice?”

“Pet fleas or lice don’t jump over to humans,” said Odelia, but I could see that Dudley’s comments had given her pause.

“If I were you I’d get rid of her,” he said now, then shrugged. “Just my opinion. You do what you want, of course. Your cats, your decision.”

Chase arrived home, then, and as the trio ate their dinner, I could see that this time it was Odelia who kept darting anxious glances at Clarice from time to time, no doubt wondering about all those fleas and lice and other parasites jumping all over her couches now, and all over her four cats.

“You have to watch out for this guy,” Clarice repeated at a certain point.

“But why do you say that?” asked Harriet. “He looks perfectly nice to me.”

“Because he reminds of my own human, that’s why,” said Clarice. “He has the exact same look in his eyes. And my own human was a sweetheart, or at least I thought he was, until one day he drove me into the woods, tied me to a tree, and left me to die.”

“How did you escape, Clarice?” asked Dooley, interested, even though he’d heard the story many times before. “Is it true you had to gnaw off your own paw to get away?”

Clarice held up two perfectly fine paws.“No, Dooley. I don’t know who invented that story, but that’s definitely not what happened. Who’d want to gnaw off their own paw?”

“Oh,” said Dooley, looking slightly disappointed.

“No, a kind-hearted couple happened to pass by the spot where my human left me, and rescued me. I would have stayed with them, but by then I was frankly over humans, so I ate my fill, said thank you very much, and I’ve been on my own ever since.”

“Good for you,” said Brutus with a nod.

Rambo, who’d been fast asleep, now woke up and yawned, causing a very foul smell to waft in our direction.

“What did I miss?” he asked.

“Clarice was just telling us how her human abandoned her and tied her to a tree,” said Dooley excitedly. “But then a couple of very kind humans came by and saved her from certain death! Isn’t that the most beautiful story you’ve ever heard, Rambo? I think I like it even better than the one about you gnawing off your own paw, Clarice.”

“Oh, brother,” Clarice muttered.

“I was once tied to a tree,” said Rambo. “So I yanked that sucker out of the ground and ran off with it.”

“You yanked a whole tree out of the ground?” asked Harriet.

“Yes, ma’am. Big tree, too. Just gave it a yank and that was it for Mr. Tree. Game over.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Clarice, shaking her head.

“Well, you better believe it, cause that’s what happened. And now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll have a bite to eat. I’m starting to feel faint. Hunger has that effect on me.”

And he waddled off, leaving a trail of goo on Odelia’s nice hardwood floor. It glistened.

Chapter 37

“Look, I like her, too, Max, but Dudley is right. Who knows where Clarice has been—and I would never forgive myself if you guys came down with some bug that she’s transmitted to you.”

“I’m pretty sure no bug would dare to attach itself to Clarice,” I said. “Or a parasite.”

“It’s all right, Max,” said Clarice. “You don’t have to defend me. If they want me gone, I’ll go.”

“I’m sorry, Clarice,” said Odelia. “But you must understand that—”

“All humans are the same? No, yeah, I absolutely understand.”

“Oh, please don’t take it like that,” said Odelia.

“Just forget about it,” said Clarice, and walked out the pet flap and was gone.

“That wasn’t very nice of you,” I told my human.

“I’m sorry, Max,” she said. “But I’m just doing it to protect you.”

“Right,” I said, and then followed in Clarice’s wake, hoping I could still catch her. “Clarice! Hold up!” I yelled when I caught up with her at the end of our street. She turned and I could tell that Odelia’s unexpected betrayal didn’t sit well with the tough cat. “I’m so sorry,” I said. We were sitting under a streetlamp, and its diffuse light lit up Clarice’s mottled fur. I didn’t see any sign of any parasites, though, or fleas or whatever.

“I knew this was going to happen,” she said. “This Dudley kid sees me as a threat. Cause I’m on to him, and you’re not. So he got rid of me—plain and simple. And Odelia, that gullible fool, allowed herself to be played for a sucker.”

“But I don’t understand. What could Dudley possibly have to gain by getting rid of you. What does he want?”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet, Max? He wants to destroy you.”

“Destroy us? What do you mean?”

“The accidents, dummy! I’ll bet that’s all him.”

I shook my head.“But that can’t be. He’s been nothing but kind to us. And Tex is so happy that he finally has a son.”