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“She’s going to kill us, Max,” said Dooley sadly. “And we’re not going to be able to pee our way out of this one.”

“I’ll just give him a little nudge, shall I?” said Gran, her tongue between her lips in utter concentration. “Bend that fender?”

“Get the sucker!” said Scarlett, clearly not the good influence on Gran that Odelia had thought she was.

Gran had sped up, and was now alongside the cab. The driver was glancing over, and making circular motions with his finger against his temple, and yelling something Odelia couldn’t hear. And then she saw Dudley, and her so-called brother did not look pleased to see her.

“Just hit him!” said Scarlett. “Do it the watch way!”

But luckily for them, a police siren suddenly sounded behind them, as Uncle Alec and Chase had finally caught up with them after the crazy chase. And the cab driver quickly pulled over to the shoulder of the road.

“Oh, bummer!” said Gran, who’d just yanked the wheel to force the other car off the road. So instead she just parked in front of the cab, then backed up so their fenders touched, making sure the cab driver couldn’t pull a fast one on her and get away.

“Why does your son always have to go and spoil the fun?!” Scarlett cried.

Odelia, though, heaved a sigh of relief, and so did five cats and one dog.

And as they got out of the car, Odelia saw to her surprise that Dudley was making a run for it!

And soon five humans, five cats and one dog were in hot pursuit of the prodigal son.

Scarlett soon dropped out of the impromptu race, as her high heels weren’t exactly conducive to this kind of frenetic activity. And then Gran had to give up, too.

“Stitch in my side!” the old lady yelled. “Go get him, hun!”

Uncle Alec was the next one to give up, and then it was just Chase and Odelia, and of course the entire pet contingent.

Dudley kept darting anxious glances over his shoulder.

“Give it up, Dudley!” Chase shouted.

“Get away from me!” Dudley screamed.

“Just stop!” said Odelia. “There’s nowhere for you to go!”

“Leave me alone!”

Suddenly Rambo, of all pets, seemed to have found his second wind, for he came bounding up from the rear, and as Odelia watched on, he raced up to the fugitive, and before Dudley knew what was happening, the giant Bulldog tackled him from behind!

And then five cats were upon the kid, with Clarice, especially, digging her claws in.

And by the time Odelia and Chase arrived, their hot pursuit had turned into a rescue mission, as Odelia’s pets clearly weren’t holding back now that they’d got their guy.

“Help!” said Dudley as he tried to fend off the cat frenzy. “Heeeeelp meeeeeee!”

“I told you to stop,” said Odelia, and had to physically drag Clarice off the guy. “That’s enough,” she said, and her cats all downed weapons. Rambo, still sitting on the man’s back, had made himself comfortable, and produced a sonorous but happy bark.

“He’s asking permission to bite,” said Max.

“No—no biting!” said Odelia.

Rambo barked some more.

“And now he’s asking permission to drool.”

“Drool?”

And without further ado, Rambo started drooling all over the back of Dudley’s head. Soon the kid was looking like a drowning victim. And as he spat out the drool, he cried, “Yuck! It’s in my mouth!”

“Serves you right,” said Chase, and got out a pair of nice shiny handcuffs, then launched into his arrest procedure with visible satisfaction.

And as Dudley was hauled off, Odelia asked,“Why did you do it, Dudley?”

Dudley shrugged.“The money, what else? Millions and millions, or so I’d been told.”

“Told by who?”

He was still spitting out goo.“Frank Butterwick. I used to work for him, and he knew everything about this mall project. They’d asked him to install a pool on the roof.”

Odelia narrowed her eyes at the kid.“So you’re Brett? Brett Cragg?”

He grinned.“Now aren’t you the clever one… sis.”

Odelia glanced at Chase.“Better add one more charge to Brett’s charge sheet.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“The murder of Frank Butterwick.”

“Oh, the old fool had it coming,” said Dudley, proving himself to be anything but the son of Odelia’s dad.

And when she thought about all he’d done, Odelia suddenly found herself hauling off and slapping the kid across the face.

Dudley moved his jaw.“I guess I deserved that.”

Epilogue

“This stuff is great,” said Brutus.

“Yeah, amazing,” Harriet agreed.

“When did Tex get so good?” asked Dooley.

“One word,” I said with a smile. “Catering.”

Since Tex wasn’t always to be trusted when performing his feats of culinary mastery behind the grill, Marge had decided not to take any chances this time, and had hired a caterer to organize the family’s next barbecue.

It wasn’t every day, after all, that you survive an attempt on your life, and she wanted to celebrate her new lease on life in style, and without Tex’s regular grilling mishaps.

We were all in the backyard, Tex looking a little sad now that he didn’t have a pivotal role to play, and the rest of the family looking ecstatic at the quality of the food they were able to sample.