Daddy Long Stroke

Shit, hol’ up…let me introduce myself to ya’ll, first, before I start suckin’ the nut outta this broad’s fuck-box. Aiight, check it. I’ma six-foot-four, 215-pound—lean and solid, for the record— slightly bow-legged cat with dark-brown eyes, thick full lips, a chiseled chest, strong muscular back, and big hands. My government name is Alexander Maples. But my mans ’n ’em call me Alley Cat, ’cause a nigga like me is always prowlin’ ’round for some new pussy. However, on some real shit, I shoulda been named Hershey ’cause I’ma dark-chocolate nigga that melts in ya mouth and all up in ya guts. Yeah, that’s right. I’m ya sweetest, most dangerous addiction. And I’m here to feed ya cravin’s—one stroke, one slurp, at a muthafuckin’ time.

So I’ma let you know from the gate. I’m the type a cat who loves to fuck—all day, e’eryday. Just like the U.S. Postal Service, I’m always ready to deliver. Rain, snow or sleet—I don’t care if it’s in ya face, ya mouth, or ya muthafuckin’ ass—I’m ready to skeet. That’s not to say that e’ery chick I get at is willin’ to give up the pussy after seein’ all this beef hangin’. ’Cause eight outta ten times, the ho’s gonna run scared. But, for the hoes who do try, it definitely doesn’t mean that they can actually handle all this dick. It only means they done bit off more dick than they can chew—or fuck, I should say. So they usually grin ’n bear, beg ’n pray, or cry ’n scream, hopin’ their well-fucked, overstretched pussies snap back for them average-dicked niggas they fuck wit’.

However, for those ambitious freaks wit’ them bottomless, unlatchable pussies, the ones who take e’ery inch of this dick, they call me Daddy Long Stroke ’cause I gotta long, thick, chocolate stick that heats up and beats up the pussy. Nice ’n slow, long ’n deep, fast ’n hard, all muthafuckin’ night long—anyway, anywhere, anyhow you want it, I give it. Ya heard? You want it rough, you want it rugged. I’ma slay ya muthafuckin’ ass ’til ya shit-hole starts to smoke. You want it slow, you want it gentle. I’ma rock ya box ’til ya eyes cross, real talk. Fuck wit’ this dick if ya want, a nigga like me’ll have ya ass crawlin’ ’round tryna find ya way home. Have ya soakin’ ya swollen pussy lips overnight. So, I’ma tell ya some real shit. Fuck at ya own risk. And be prepared to get rocked inside out ’cause I’ma slam it, grind it, and wind it, all up in ya. Deeply, savagely, tenderly—whatever, this dick is made for stretchin’ that sweet, tight, wet pussy to the limit. And there you have it.

Anyway, back to the bitch I got in front of me. I have her legs up over my shoulders, my face is buried between her thighs, and I’m tongue-fuckin’ the shit outta her pussy, alternatin’ between eatin’ her pussy and lickin’ her asshole while jerkin’ my dick. I got her wrigglin’ and squirmin’ and moanin’. “Oh, yes…ah…ah… oh, yes…ohmyGod, you gonna make me cum…aaaah…aaaaah… oh, shit…I’m cuuuuu—” Now guess what the fuck she does while she’s creamin’ on my muthafuckin’ tongue?

This nasty bitch lets out a loud, hot-ass fart! And it’s one of them rotten-ass, lingerin’ kind. Now I don’t know ’bout you, but this kinda shit ain’t acceptable. Keepin’ shit real, a few times I’ve had a chick fart while suckin’ on my dick. But, I have never—and I mean muthafuckin’ never—had no shit like this happen. It feels and tastes like I’ve just sucked in a mouthful of horse shit. This bitch is lucky I’m not into smackin’ up a chick, ’cause if I was… man, listen, I’d peel her muthafuckin’ skull back. I can tell she’s embarrassed. But…I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck. I’m sorry, it’s a wrap. Game over! This bitch has to go!

“Yo, what the fuck?!” I snap, yankin’ my head back and jumpin’ up. “You’se one nasty-ass bitch for real, yo. How you gonna bust off in my muthafuckin’ face like that?”

“I’m so sorry,” she says apologetically. “Sometimes I cum real hard and, when I do, I pass gas unexpectedly. I tried to hold it in, but it crept out. You had me feeling so good. I really didn’t mean for it to happen.”

Crept out? Nah, fuck that. Who the fuck she think she’s talkin’ to? I done fucked her pussy inside out, makin’ her nut ’til she shakes on more than one occasion. And not once did this bitch ever bust outta her ass. But, okay, maybe she does cum hard and farts at the same time from time to time. Yeah, whatever! If that’s the case, then why the fuck didn’t the slut warn a muhfucka? Crept out, my ass! This bitch is literally full of shit—word up. The way that fart roared the fuck out, the bitch pushed it out purposefully, feel me?

“Well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me to move outta the way, or somethin’, instead of havin’ a nigga’s face all pressed up in your ass like that, suckin’ in ya funky-ass fumes?”

“I got caught up in the moment,” she offers, sittin’ up. “And wasn’t thinkin’.”