Daddy Long Stroke

“Hey, Alex. It’s Falani. Call me when you get a chance. My night with you had me in the hospital for two days in pain. You knocked my uterus off its hinges”—she laughs—“I’m laughing, but I’m serious. The doctors said my uterus has been bruised. Now I’m on bedrest and medicine. Anywaaay, I hope all is well. Give me a call when you can. I’d like to see you again for another dose.”

Delete. I shake my head. That stupid bitch is crazy. I done gouged up her uterus and she still tryna get at me. Man, listen. She can keep fuckin’ wit’ me if she wants. But, I ain’t tryna be responsible when her greedy ass ends up havin’ her insides pulled out for fuckin’ this big dick.

“Hey, baby, it’s Carla. I’m ready to suck that big-ass dick ’til I choke. Holla atcha girl when you can. I’m horny as fuck. A bitch tryna ride that dick and fuck ya fine-ass to sleep.”

I laugh at her cum-thirsty ass, then listen to the last message from Tamia’s nut-ass. The bitch is still screamin’ ’bout me iggin’ her retarded ass. Delete.

Vita walks back into the room. I squint, tryna see what the fuck she got on. The bitch changed her clothes, and is now wearin’ a lil’ sheer slip dress. She looks like a dressed-up Cabbage Patch doll. I shake my head. For some reason, her eyes are wide as saucers and make her look like a fly, nah…fuck that, a prayin’ mantis. I frown, watchin’ her as she pours another shot of Patròn, then tosses it back.

“Aaaaah,” she says, shakin’ her head. She sits on the floor. “Whew, this stuff here gets me right.”

“Mmmph.” I’m feelin’ myself gettin’ restless. I’m ready to get this dick wet. “So, dig, what else you like to do besides drink?”

“Well, I like to just chill out and listen to music. And every now and then I like to get my high on.”

Trees? Oh, shit. That’s the fuck what I’m talkin’ ’bout. Now, the bitch’s talkin’ my language. I grin. “Oh, word. You get lit?”

“Sometimes. But not that often because of my job, why? You indulge?”

Oh, aiight. This bitch might not be half bad after all, I think. “Hell muthafuckin’ yeah,” I say excitedly.

She smiles. “Oh, cool. I got some. You wanna do a little something?”

“As long as you got that good shit, no doubt.”

“I only buy the best. I woulda asked you earlier, but I didn’t know how you rolled.”

I laugh. “Oh, I roll ’em thick, baby. So, wassup? We blazin’ or what?”

It almost looks like this bitch is startin’ to salivate. She jumps up outta her seat. And on some real shit, I’m practically feenin’ myself. “Follow me,” she says.

I get up and follow her into her office. It’s laced wit’ a computer, sofa, stereo and another flat-screen TV. I take a seat on the sofa, watchin’ her go into the closet, then roll out some type of mini servin’ cart. She rolls the shit over to where I’m sittin’. There are two wooden boxes on it. She lifts the lids up offa ’em.

“Whatever your pleasure; help yourself, baby.”

A nigga looks, then blinks. Oh, shit! This bitch got weed and coke. Now, I’ll smoke all muthafuckin’ day and night, but a muhfucka ain’t fuckin’ wit’ nuthin’ else. And I ain’t really beat to fuck wit’ no bitch who does either. But, I’m here now. And a muhfucka ain’t bouncin’ ’til she breaks me off some paper, or laces me wit’ some wears. And that’s what it is.

“Yo, I don’t fuck wit’ no coke, baby. But, I’ll smoke ya trees up, real talk.”

“You can smoke all you want. I only sniff.”

I only sniff? Yeah, right. Lyin’-ass bitch. “Do you, baby,” I say, grabbin’ a fat-ass blunt already rolled tighter than a buffalo’s ass. I take the lighter from offa the cart, then spark up. As I pull in smoke, I watch this ho take a razor, make a neat line of coke, then snort the shit up in one long-ass sniff. Oh, hell yeah. I’ma take this coke-snortin’ bird straight through the wringer. Word is bond. This ho is a real live junkie bitch.

I blow out weed smoke, then take another hit straight to the head. It ain’t the kinda top-of-the- line shit I’m used to, but it’ll do. This lil’ pumpkin-head ho does another line, then goes out into the livin’ room and comes back wit’ the bottle of Patròn. She sits on the floor and stares at me. Her eyes start dartin’ ’round the room, and she’s sniffin’ like she’s got a bucket of snot rammed up in her nose. The bitch is skeed the fuck up.

“I’m so glad you came here to spend time with me,” she says, gettin’ up to do another line. “Ever since our first phone conversation, I have wanted to meet you…It’s been so long since I’ve spent time with a real man who’s comfortable in his skin. And who’s not just tryna fuck me ’cause they think I’m some kinda science project…”