Daddy Long Stroke

She nods. She smiles, gazin’ at me like she’s all in love ’n shit. “I wanna take you out to Phipps Plaza and buy you something really nice for your birthday.”

Now that’s what the fuck I’m talkin’ ’bout. “Awww, baby, you don’t have to do all that. Just bein’ here wit’ you is nice enough.”

“That’s sweet of you, but this is your day. And I want to make it very special. So I’ma take you shopping, then out to eat.”

“Yo, on some real shit,” I say, pullin’ her into me and kissin’ her on the lips. I slip my tongue in her mouth. We kiss for a few minutes before I pull back. “You really tryna fuck a nigga’s head up, baby.”

“I think you’re a really special man. And you deserve a woman who knows how to treat a man like you. A woman who can let you be the man you need to be; yet, still encourage and inspire you to be the best you can be…”

This broad sounds like she’s preparin’ for a muthafuckin’ campaign or some shit. Why can’t these hoes just enjoy a muhfucka wit’out tryna bring in all the extras. Damn! I wanna put the brakes on it, but decide to let it ride, for now.

“…I know I don’t really know you, but I’ve never felt this way about any man. And trust me. I’ve had my share of them to know what I’m talking about. I wish I could put what I’m feeling into words that made sense. Hell, I’m still trying to make sense out of it. All I know is you’re the type of a man I could fall in love with…”

Alrighty then! The whole time this chick is talkin’ I’m hearin’ cash registers and cuckoo clocks in my head. The shit’s hilarious to me. And I’m ’bout to bust out laughin’. But I fight to hold it in.

“…Do you believe in love at first sight?” I hear her ask.

Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo! “Nah, baby, not really.”

“Well, I hope I don’t sound crazy or anything, but I do. I knew the first time we spoke on the phone that I was going to fall for you. And when I picked you up at the airport, seeing you confirmed what I already was feeling in my heart.”

Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo!

“Listen, baby,” I warn. “Don’t do it to ya’self. A nigga like me ain’t ready for nuthin’ more than some pussy.”

“I know, I know. Don’t worry. I don’t have any expectations from you. I’m a big girl. And I’m responsible for what I allow to happen. I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me. But who knows. Maybe one day you will. If not, it’s cool. No matter what, I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience this feeling with you.” Her eyes start to well up. “I just want you to know how happy you’ve made me feel.”

Cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo! I wanna tell this ho that a nigga should never be what makes her happy. That no matter how good a muhfucka fucks her guts out, it doesn’t mean he’s gonna be good for her. That niggas like me can smell a vulnerable, lonely bitch a mile away and will prey on her ass, and take her for e’ery muthafuckin’ thing she’s worth. I wanna tell her all this, but I don’t. Why the fuck should I? Hell, I’m tryna get all I can outta her ass. I pull her into my arms, kiss her on the forehead and then say, “I’m glad I could bring a lil’ joy in ya life.” I give her a few tongue-probin’ kisses, then slide my fingers into her pussy, slow stroke her insides, ’til she nuts all over my hand. I suck her juices off my fingers, then slide my tongue back into her mouth.

Thirty minutes later, we’re showered, dressed and out the door on our way to pick out my “birthday” gifts. And when we return, four hours later, I’m horny as hell from all the shoppin’ she’s done on a muhfucka. Well, aiight, aiight, that’s not the only reason why my dick is brick. Akina’s been textin’ me all muhfuckin’ afternoon talkin’ ’bout how she misses me and wants me to eat her pussy, then beat it up like it stole a nut from me; ’bout how she wants to lick my balls and asshole, then suck my dick ’til I nut down in her throat; ’bout how she wants me to fuck her ’til her pussy burns. And of course I texted her back, lettin’ her know exactly how I was gonna tear her ass out the frame when I get home. In the meantime, I’ma rock Vita’s box.

“Thanks, baby, for makin’ today real special,” I tell her, droppin’ six shoppin’ bags by the side of the sofa. “This is one of my best birthdays.”

“Awwww, it was my pleasure. And knowing that you appreciate the gesture makes it even more special.”

Yeah, she’s a keeper, for sure. Crazy or not, she’s a generous, thoughtful ho. And, in today’s economic climate, that’s what really counts. I hit her wit’ one of my award-winnin’ smiles, then lift her up into my arms, carry her upstairs, remove her clothes, then remove mine. I suck and lick her tits, plant soft kisses all over her body, then fuck e’ery inch of her tiny pussy ’til her body shakes and she breaks down and cries. And by the time I finally pack my shit to bounce, I got her walkin’ more gap-legged than she already is. And her pussy’s stretched open wide enough to fit eight inches of this dick.

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