Daddy Long Stroke

“Fuck outta here wit’ that bullshit,” I say, crackin’ up. “Let me borrow ya grandmother for a few days, then let’s see how ugly and black she thinks this dick is.”

“Yeah, muhfucka, right after you let me borrow yours.” We laugh and bullshit a few more minutes, then hang up. I lay back ’cross my bed, dazin’ up at the ceilin’ wonderin’ how the hell Red’s girl got him to give up all his hoes. I mean, she’s bad as hell… but, damn. She got that nigga talkin’ ’bout marriage ’n shit. She must got some good-ass pussy, I think, shakin’ my head, smilin’. Or her muthafuckin’ head game must be off the damn chain. I think about it a few more minutes, wonderin’ if a cat like me had it in him to be on some exclusive shit wit’ a chick. Nah, fuck that! Good pussy or not. A muhfucka like me ain’t goin’ out like that. I’ma always be long strokin’ more than one ho. I roll over onto my side, and before I know it, I’m knocked the fuck out.

17

Yo, I’m watchin’ this flick Cover, wit’ Vivica Fox and that cat Leon. For a straight-to-DVD joint it isn’t bad, but… man, listen. This muhfucka is on some real extra shit, fuckin’ another muhfucka and he’s married. What kinda bullshit is that? I don’t knock no one for doin’ what they do, and bein’ who they are, real talk. But a muhfucka suckin’ and fuckin’ another nigga—when you got a chick in ya life, is some straight bullshit, for real, yo. That shit is disrespectful, dangerous and grounds for a bullet straight to ya muthafuckin’ dome for frontin’ on her, and puttin’ her life at risk, feel me? Shit like this gets a muhfucka hot, for real, yo.

Punk-ass nigga, I think, shakin’ my head. I can’t even finish watchin’ this shit. I light a blunt, and turn it off, then hit the remote to my stereo, and turn on my computer. Plies’ “Excuse My Hands” blares through the speakers as I wait for my PC to boot up. I click on Internet Explorer to surf the web, then hit up my BlackPlanet, Facebook and Myspace pages. When I’m done goin’ through all the bullshit notes, I decide to check the emails on my AOL account. As soon as I log on, the IM’s start poppin’ up. I shake my head. These some real hungry-ass hoes tonight, I think, iggin’ most of ’em. But the one who gets my attention tonight is the older chick from BlackPlanet. We’ve been emailin’ back and forth a few times, but this is the first time she actually IM’s me. I wanna fuck the shit outta her, word up.

DrSweetPussy: Hello

DaddyLongStroke: What’s poppin’, pretty baby?

DrSweetPussy: *blushing*

DaddyLongStroke: Come on, baby. Don’t get shy on a nigga

DrSweetPussy: Not shy; just embarrassed

DaddyLongStroke: Embarrassed? Why?

DrSweetPussy: That I’m doing this

DaddyLongStroke: Doin’ what?

DrSweetPussy: This. Talking to you. Thinking about cheating on my husband

DaddyLongstroke: Well, isn’t that what u’ve been lookin’ for? A little side action in ya life?

DrSweetPussy: Yeah

DaddyLongStroke: Well, don’t get scared now, baby. I ain’t gonna hurt ya.

DrSweetPussy: LOL. I’m not scared; just confused

I take two pulls from the blunt. Hold the shit in my lungs, then slowly blow it out. Confused? Give me a fuckin’ break! Obviously, the bitch ain’t gettin’ what she needs at home ’cause if she was, she wouldn’t be all up on BlackPlanet ’n shit prowlin’ for dick. And she damn sure wouldn’t be emailin’ and IM-in’ muhfuckas. Her ass ain’t gettin’ dicked right, and she wants a muhfucka wit’ a strong back and long dick to beat that shit up for her. And I’m just the man for the job. So what the fuck she confused about?

DaddyLongStroke: What u confused about?

DrSweetPussy: Maybe confused is the wrong word. More anxious than confused

DaddyLongStroke: About?

DrSweetPussy: Meeting u

DaddyLongStroke: Meetin’ me should be the least of your worries, I think. Whether or not you can handle a Mandigo stud should be. What kinda dr are u?

DrSweetPussy: A psychologist

DaddyLongStroke: Aaah shit. An educated freak

DrSweetPussy: LOL

DaddyLongStroke: I’ve slayed a lotta professional chicks, but a psychologist is gonna be my first

DrSweetPussy: *smiling* hopefully, it’ll be a good experience for the both of us

DaddyLongStroke: I’m sure it will be. Tell daddy some of ya fantasies, baby

DrSweetPussy: Umm, well, I fantasize about having sex in public, like on a beach with everyone watching. Other times I fantasize about speeding down the turnpike being completely naked and masturbating in my convertible.

DaddyLongStroke: Damn, baby. Sounds hot! What else?

DrSweetPussy: Being in the middle of a circle with a group of men jerking off while I’m playing in my vagina and watching them all stroke their penises over me. Then when they are ready to ejaculate, they cum all over me.