Daddy Long Stroke

“So they say. They ran a buncha stress tests. My pressure’s high and they tell me my sugar’s up. But other than that, they say I’m okay.” I feel relieved. And fucked up for how things went down at his crib wit’ Akina. I decide to apologize, again. Tell ’em I was really outta pocket for bringin’ that shit up in his space like that. “Look, son, that’s water under the bridge. It was bound to happen, sooner or later. Unfortunately, I had to walk in on it. I tried to warn you, but ya ass is too damn hard-headed…”

“Just like you,” Moms says, walkin’ into the room. I get up and give her a hug and kiss. “He’s you, all over again.”

Pops chuckles. “Woman, I wasn’t that bad.”

She grunts, shakin’ her head. She hangs her coat up in Pops’ closet. They go back ’n forth ’bout it. I decide to stay outta their lil’ debate. Ya’ll already know how I feel ’bout it. And I’ma keep sayin’ it ’til I’m blue in the face: “I ain’t nuthin’ like him.” I take the other seat ’cross the room. Let Moms sit next to Pops.

“Well, it shouldna never went down like that,” Pops says. “I hope you learned ya lesson.”

Yeah, I learned a lesson, aiight. I learned to only fuck wit’ outta-state hoes from now on. I decide to keep that shit to myself. “I had no business bringin’ that drama up in ya spot, Pops.”

“You got that right,” Moms adds. “And you shoulda never put your hands on that girl.”

“And you right,” I agree, sighin’. “But she threw her hands up, first. Then she bit me. So she got what she got. I don’t feel good ’bout it, but it is what it is.”

“Still doesn’t make what you did right. You’re lucky she hasn’t filed complaints on you.”

“Ma, listen. The only thing I regret is that it happened up in Pops’ crib. Other than that, had she kept her hands to herself, I wouldna lumped her up.”

Moms opens her mouth to say sumthin’ else, but Pops reaches over and squeezes her arm. She pulls in her bottom lip. Lets it go, for now. “Tell us about this Ramona gal,” Pops says, changin’ the subject. “Your mother told you she stopped by the house looking for you, right?”

“Yeah, she told me earlier today. There’s really nuthin’ to tell. We kicked it for a minute. I sexed her down. She was too clingy. I dismissed her. That’s it. And now she’s claimin’ to be pregnant. But it’s not mine. Then I learn today that that desperate broad was punchin’ holes in the condoms.” Pops shakes his head. Moms stares at me. “I’m tellin’ ya’ll she’s a real nutcase.”

“And you did nothing to create this mess?” Moms asks, shiftin’ in her seat. I can tell she’s ready to get it started. It’s probably givin’ her flashbacks of that shit wit’ Pops, too.

Yeah, I stuck my dick in the wrong bitch! “The only thing I did was cut off her cum supply. I didn’t make her any promises. And I warned her over and over again to not get caught up in me. But she did. And that’s on her.”

“Son,” Pops says, “I’m not tryna tell you what to do, but you need to slow down. Or you’re gonna end up with a lot more than just a baby on your hands.”

“Well, let’s hope it’s not his,” Moms states.

“It’s not,” I tell ’em both, gettin’ up. I’ve had enough of this wit’ them. I know if I stay any longer, it’s gonna turn into a lecture hall. I glance at my watch. I’ve been here thirty minutes already. “Listen, I gotta get goin’.” I walk over and give Moms a kiss on the cheek, then give Pops a pound and a hug. “Take care of ya’self, old man. I’ll hit you up sometime tomorrow to check in on ya.”

“Aiight, talk to you then.”

“Come by for dinner tomorrow night,” Moms says.

“I can’t,” I tell her, grinnin’. “I’ma be somewere laid up.”

She rolls her eyes. Pops chuckles. They both shake their heads, watchin’ me dip out the door.

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