Darkest Night

She fixed her gaze on Leafstar. “I wish I felt like a SkyClan cat.” She wanted to run from the camp. She wanted to race through the forest and burst into ThunderClan’s camp and tell them she was coming home. She wanted to see their eyes light up and to hear them break into joyful purrs. But life was never that simple. What Clan would want a cat who couldn’t make up her mind? I can make up my mind! This time I know I’m doing the right thing. But would anyone believe her? “I belong with ThunderClan.”

Anger flashed in Leafstar’s gaze. “You should have said something earlier.” Her pelt ruffled. “This is not the right time to change your mind.”

Trembling, Twigpaw held her gaze. “It’s better than changing it after the ceremony.”

Sandynose padded forward. Twigpaw braced herself for his harsh words, but his expression was gentle. He stood beside her, his pelt touching hers. “Twigpaw has not made this decision lightly. I’ve seen her struggling to do the right thing. Her heart has been torn in two directions since she came.” He looked at Leafstar. “I’m proud she found the courage to decide.”

Leafstar grunted. “She’s wasted our time.”

“She’s found where her true loyalty lies. That is not a waste of anyone’s time,” Sandynose meowed. “If she’d stayed here, with half her heart in ThunderClan, what use would she have been?”

Twigpaw padded forward. “I’m sorry.” Shame crawled beneath her pelt. She glanced at Finpaw. He was staring at her, disappointment in his wide yellow gaze.

Leafstar turned away, flicking her tail. “The ceremony is over,” she meowed, dismissing the watching cats.

Hawkwing hurried to Twigpaw’s side. “Sandynose is right,” he meowed. “You’ve been brave.”

The claws in Twigpaw’s heart curled deeper as she saw sadness flashing through his eyes. “I wanted to be with you and Violetshine,” she mewed plaintively. “But ever since I came here, I’ve felt guilty for leaving ThunderClan.” She dropped her gaze. “And I’ve missed them.”

A growl sounded behind her. She turned.

Violetshine glared at her. “You’re abandoning me again!”

“No, I’m not,” Twigpaw stiffened with shock. “I’m still your sister. Nothing will change that.”

Violetshine wasn’t listening. “You left me when we were in ShadowClan. And you’re leaving me now. All for your precious ThunderClan! What’s so special about them? They’re just a bunch of meddling know-it-alls. Why do you want to be with them instead of me?”

Twigpaw could hear the pain in her sister’s anger. She wished she could fix it. She wished she could pretend that her heart lay with SkyClan and stay here with Violetshine and Hawkwing. “I’ll never be happy if I stay here.”

“I don’t care!” Violetshine hissed. “I don’t care if you’re not happy! What about me? Why am I never allowed to be happy?” Her eyes rounded as though she realized what she’d said. Her body shook. She dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I just believed that everything was finally going to be the way I dreamed it would be.”

Twigpaw thrust her muzzle against Violetshine’s. “I will always love you. And Hawkwing. And the time I’ve spent with you will always be a special memory.”

Hawkwing pressed against them, soothing Violetshine with a gentle stroke of his tail. “Twigpaw is right,” he meowed softly. “We will always be kin. We’ll miss Twigpaw, but isn’t it better to know she’s found where she belongs than to live with her knowing she wishes she were somewhere else?”

Violetshine lifted her glistening gaze. “I just wish she wanted to be with us,” she mewed thickly.

Guilt throbbed in Twigpaw’s chest.

Leafstar cleared her throat behind them. “Twigpaw, if you’re not a SkyClan cat,” she mewed, her voice gentle but clear, “perhaps you should return to ThunderClan.” She turned her gaze toward the camp entrance.

Twigpaw stared at the SkyClan leader. Leafstar wouldn’t look back. I’ve disappointed her. “I’ll go,” she mewed. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

Leafstar nodded without looking back and walked away.

Twigpaw touched her nose to Violetshine’s cheek, and then Hawkwing’s. “Take care of each other.”

Hawkwing blinked at her sadly. Violetshine turned away.

Her heart felt like it was breaking as she padded toward the fern entrance. She felt the eyes of her Clanmates on her and heard them murmuring in hushed mews.

“ThunderClan!”

“She was never really happy here.”

“Then why did she come in the first place?”

Would SkyClan ever forgive her?

At the entrance, paw steps sounded behind her. “Twigpaw!” Finpaw caught up to her.

She looked at him, bracing herself for more pain. Saying good-bye to Finpaw would hurt more than unsheathed claws. “I’m sorry,” she began.

“Why?”

“For leaving you,” she mewed. “I will miss you.”

“You don’t have to miss me.” He stared at her steadily.

Was he asking her to stay?

“I’m coming with you.” He lifted his muzzle stubbornly. “And no one can stop me.”

“But this is your Clan!” Twigpaw could hardly believe her ears.

“ThunderClan can be my Clan from now on.”