“Hera’s sound asleep.” Shaking off his feathers, Zeus stepped out of the bathtub; chest out, stomach sucked in over skinny legs. “We’re perfectly safe if no one wakes her up, and no one’s going to wake her up.”
Eyes closed, Claire missed seeing an orange something with yellow highlights speed out from under the sink and disappear through the open bathroom door. She groped for a towel and held a terry cloth bath sheet out in Zeus’ general direction. “Here. Cover up.”
When she felt him take it, she opened her eyes. Wrapped around his waist, the towel was a small improvement.
Leaning toward her, Zeus leered.“Would you prefer a shower of gold?”
“No.”
“An eagle?”
“No.”
“A satyr?”
“No.”
“A white bull?”
“I said no.”
“An ant?”
“You’re kidding.”
“Eurymedusa, daughter of Cleitus, bore me a son named Myrmidon when I seduced her in the form of an ant.”
“Must’ve been some ant.”
“Ant it is, then.” Before Claire could stop him, his features twisted, his eyes briefly faceted, and a hair from each eyebrow grew about three feet. Panting, he collapsed against the vanity. “On second thought…” His right clutching his chest, he flung out his left arm, the flesh between elbow and armpit swaying gently. “…take me as I am.”
Claire sighed.“Out of respect for your age and your mythology, I don’t want to hurt you, but if you don’t get out of my bathroom and go back to your own bed, you’re going to be very sorry.”
“I could call down the lightning for you,” Zeus offered, continuing to support his weight on the sink. “And with any luck it’ll strike more than once. Wink, wink, nudge…” The second nudge remained unvoiced as a violent banging on the door to Claire’s suite cut him off.
“Open this door right now, you tramp! I know you’ve got my husband in there!”
Zeus paled.“It’s Hera.”
“What was your first clue?” Claire snapped, furious that the Lord of Olympus had involved her in such a humiliating situation. “I’ll stall her, you get back to your own room.”
“How? She’s right outside the door.”
“How did you get into my tub?”
His face brightened.“The tub. Right.” Staggering back to it, he stepped inside and pulled the shower curtain closed. “I’ll hide in here. You get rid of her.”
Claire yanked the shower curtain open.“I meant that you should disappear the same way you appeared.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t?”
“I’m old. Do you have any idea how much effort that took?” His lower lip went out in a classic pout. “Not that you appreciated it.”
“Keeper, I’m warning you!” Mere wood and plaster did little to hinder Hera’s volume. “Open this door, or I’ll blow it off its hinges!”
“Can she?” Claire demanded.
Zeus shrugged.“Probably not.”
“All right. I’ve had enough. Get out of there.”
“But…”
“Now.”
Muttering under his breath, the god obeyed.
Once he stood squarely on the bath mat, Claire grabbed his wrist and dragged him, mat and all, toward her sitting room.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going to explain this whole mess to your wife.” Working one-handed, she released the wards around the sitting-room door. “This is your problem, not mine.”
Zeus winced.“Actually, Keeper, if you’ve studied the classics, you’ll know that’s not how it usually…”
The door crashed open.
Framed in the doorway, her eyes blazing, Hera shook her hands free of the feathers trimming the sleeves of her peignoir and pointed a trembling finger at Claire.“I knew it, another one who can’t keep her hands off him!”
“That’s not…”
“Well, I know how to deal with you, you hussy, don’t for a moment think that I don’t!”
“Hera, I was asleep. I found him in my bathroom.”
The goddess’ lips thinned to invisibility. “That’s what they all say.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Ha!”
Claire could feel the possibilities expanding in unfamiliar ways. Yanking Zeus another couple of feet forward, she thrust him toward his wife.“Tell her!”
“I’m so sorry, my little myrtle leaf.” Clutching the towel, he scuttled to Hera’s side. “I was lured!”
“Shut up, you old goat I’ll deal with you later. But for now…” The finger still pointing at Claire began to tremble. “…we’ll see how many husbands you seduce as a linden tree!”
The world twisted sideways.
When Claire could see again, everything seemed strangely two-dimensional. And green. By concentrating on where her neck should be, she lowered her head and took a look at her body. She wasn’t a linden tree. She rather thought she was a dieffenbachia. And pot-bound at that.
“Isn’t that a house plant, ray love?”
“Shut up,” Hera snarled. “I know what it is.”
How dare she! Claire thought, leaves rustling.How dare she assume that I would ever have anything to do with that dirty old man!
A number of white flies with glowing red eyes, settled down on her stem. ANGER IS ONE OF OURS.
I knowthat. Carefully reaching toward the middle of the possibilities, Claire began to pull power. When she regained her own body, she was going to…
REVENGE IS ALSO ONE OF OURS.