Dead Sea

    "Well, I got your back. Just let me know." He grinned. "Thanks, man. That means a lot." "Not that I'll do much good, I guess." Mitch frowned. "What are you talking about? Ain't nobody else on this ship I'd rather have at my side." "You know what I'm saying, man. If the shit hits the fan, what good am I? I've got nothing to offer. You and Tony are the experts when it comes to guns. Meanwhile, I couldn't hit the broadside of a fucking barn. Runkle is a cop. We know he can handle himself. The chief knows the boat and Chuck's his new apprentice, so that makes him valuable. Hell, even Murphy's good for something. He keeps us moving down there in the boiler room. Everybody's got their place. So far, all I've done is throw up at the rescue station when we saw those crosses and choke when it came to killing that preacher. The professor says I'm the hero, but I think he must be senile." "The hero?"

    I explained to Mitch all about the archetypes and monomyths and the professor's theories on the two of us. When I was finished, Mitch shook his head, laughing softly.

    "Well, if that don't beat all. I'm the warrior, huh? I'll take that, I guess. Better than being the trickster. But he's right, Lamar. In those kid's eyes, you're a hero. They look up to you. After all the bad shit that's happened to them, you're the best person they could have come across." "But I don't know shit about kids. I'm impatient with them. I curse too much. I'm not a parental figure."

    "Too bad, buddy, because you've got the job whether you want it or not. I think you'll be okay. Take it from me. There's no instruction manual that comes with kids. You do your best and try not to fuck up and realize that you probably will anyway. You're their hero. Try to live up to that."

    His voice cracked, and I realized that he was crying. Tears dripped down into his beard. "Mitch?" I was shocked. "What's wrong, man?" "I… Do you remember our first morning onboard? When we were eating breakfast in the galley? You asked me why I'd gone from Towson down into the city, and I told you I didn't want to talk about it."

    "Yeah." I nodded, thinking back. "I remember." "Well, the truth is, I was looking for my son, Mickey. We always called him Mick. Mitch and Mick-our little family joke. My wife and I got divorced when he was fourteen. I was on the road a lot. Had a sales route at the time-copiers and fax machines for businesses. I did something stupid. Had a one night stand with this girl in New York City-a client of mine. Beautiful girl. She made me feel young again. Even so, I felt guilty about it afterward. Swore 1 wouldn't do it again and figured my wife would never find out. But I gave the girl my e-mail address and we chatted online a lot, and my wife found the e-mails. Some of them referenced that night. Yeah, I know-I'm a dumb ass.

    Anyway, we split up and my son blamed me. He had a hard time with it. A few years later, he got into drugs and dropped out of school. I lost all contact with him. When they declared martial law, I called my ex-wife. I hadn't talked to her in about six months, but it was the end of the world, you know? I was worried about him-about them both. My ex-wife answered. She was worried sick. Turned out she hadn't seen or heard from Mick in months. All she knew was that he was dating this girl named Frankie. She was a prostitute and a heroin addict, and she'd gotten Mick addicted, too. One of my ex-wife's co-workers had apparently seen him and his girlfriend. They were sleeping on the streets down in Fells Point."

    "So you went looking for him?" "Yeah, 1 did." Mitch sighed. "It was a stupid thing to do, but love makes us dumb sometimes. There was no way he could have been alive. I knew that, deep down inside. But I had to do it anyway, because I'm his father and that's part of it. When you become a parent, you have all these dreams. Maybe your kid will be a quarterback for the Ravens someday, or maybe he'll win the Nobel Peace Prize. My dream was a little simpler than that. I just wanted grandkids. Don't guess I'll ever have one now. But you have these dreams and you'll do anything to help your child achieve them, and sometimes, you do this even if your dreams aren't your kid's desires. You help your kids out. That's what you're supposed to do. But I wasn't there to help Mick, so I had to make up for it, even if he was dead. I had to see it through."

    "You could have been killed."