Do Unto Others

And I don’t know about Hally. Maybe it’s some sick way of striking at me or Janice Schneider.” “My Lord,” Eula Mae said, but not to me. Her eyes were back in the garden. Hally had removed his shirt and his bunched muscles moved smoothly as he worked. Eula Mae sighed like a dieter in front of a candy store. “Youth is wasted on the young, Jordy. Remember that.” With Hally out of reach, she appraised me. “You and Hally do favor each other, you know. You both got those fine Schneider looks. Shame you’re still just an infant compared to me. But of course Candace is a different story-” I rolled my eyes. “Look, Eula Mae, let’s concentrate. You know damn well that I didn’t kill Beta and I’m willing to give you the same benefit of doubt-” “Are you so sure?” she interrupted, her voice as sweet and fake as sno-cone syrup. I stopped dead. “I’m kidding!” she exclaimed, but her eyes showed merriment at my discomfort. I ran a tongue over dry lips. “So when was the last time you saw her?” I asked. “Oh, that nastiness in the library. When she slapped the tar out of you.” “Not since?” “No, Jordy. Lord, what do you want, an accounting of my movements? All right, Perry Mason, I’ll be delighted to oblige. Murder’s one of the few crimes I’m still innocent of and I want to keep my unstained reputation. After that little scene at the library, I came back here, did some work on the newest book-it features Charity Keepwell, who I am sure you’ll remember from my very well-received Lily of the Alamo two books back. Then I had my dinner, watched some television, did a little editing, and went to bed.” “What time was that?” “Around ten.

And alone.” She seemed to have spotted something interesting on her nail. The cat batted her sleeve, wanting attention. “I see. And you don’t know of anyone who had a motive to kill Beta?” “Lord, sure I did. That crazy Matt Blalock for one. And I suppose even you. ” I tried not to look menacing. “I hope you didn’t make any such statement to the police.” Eula Mae leaned close to me and I could smell the slightly sour odor of old perfume. “No, sugar pie, I didn’t. Motive, yes; but you’re not stupid enough to commit murder. But someone like Matt Blalock is, or that Ruth Wills.” “Ruth?” My dinner date? That possibility didn’t promote good digestion-and it might make conversation just a tad strained. “Surely you could tell there’s no love lost between Ruth and Beta.” “I knew they didn’t get along, but-”

“Are you keeping your ears in a jar? Beta tried to get Ruth fired.”

Eula Mae leaned back, delighted in the miniature drama she’d caused. A beringed hand ran through her curly mane to heighten the effect. “What for?” “I don’t know all the details. I just heard about it from my friend Joan. She’s a secretary over at the hospital and a very ardent fan of mine. Of course sheer numbers preclude my having a real relationship with most of my fans, but I’ve made an exception for Joan. Such a perceptive reader and an extremely reliable source. Joan said Beta claimed Ruth tried to poison her when she was in the hospital last January.” “What?” This was news to me. “Oh, the hospital shut it up because it was groundless,” Eula Mae sniffed. “Just Beta getting a visitation from Satan and blaming it on Ruth. No one filed charges or anything; I think the D.A. over in Bavary talked Beta out of it ’cause it was so blasted silly.” “So what happened between them?” Eula Mae waved her hand, dismissing the need for details. “I don’t know. Apparently Beta was in the hospital-she’d had some chest pains and they were keeping her for observation-and she said Ruth entered her room and tried to give her an injection, when she’d just been given some medication by another nurse. According to Beta, Ruth told her she was going to get hers -and Ruth tried to stick the needle in her. Beta screamed bloody murder-you know what a set of lungs the old witch had-and some other nurses rushed in. Of course Ruth denied the whole crazy thing and there was no evidence to support Beta’s charge.” “I don’t get it. Even if it were true, why would Ruth want to kill Beta?” “Back then, who knows? Community service, perhaps? It’s a lot of bullcrap if you ask me. But now”-Eula Mae slid her glance slyly over her shoulder-“who knows? I mean, Beta did try to ruin her career.” “But she failed. Ruth didn’t lose her job. They didn’t even file charges. Why kill Beta now?” This made little sense to me. “I don’t know what else might have transpired between them. Ruth supported you in the censorship fight. Maybe there’s some other dark secret between them.” Eula Mae’s eyes glowed with creativity, as though she were plotting her next potboiler. “Was Ruth on that list?