Doctor Wood. Modern Wizard of the Laboratory: The Story of an American Small Boy Who Became the Most Daring and Original Experimental Physicist of Our Day-but Never Grew Up

In September Wood attended the Cambridge meeting of the British Association for the Advancement of Science. Lord Rayleigh had asked him to make them a visit at “Terling”, his country home near Witham, where he had his private laboratory, and promised to have some continental physicists as guests at the same time. It was Wood’s first visit at an English country house and he had never heard of being “unpacked”. For his demonstrations of various phenomena with sodium vapor and his diffraction process of color photography he had a large suitcase full of glass tubes and bulbs, longish pieces of dirty rubber tubing, lenses and prisms of various sizes, and a long gas burner made of an iron pipe pierced with many pinholes. These oddments were wrapped up in underwear and old rags, some of it none too clean, and it was not to be opened until his arrival in Cambridge. The valet took charge of Wood’s luggage of course, and Wood joined the company at tea. Professor H. Kayser of Bonn, Germany’s leading spectroscopist, with whom Wood had corresponded frequently, was a guest, also Professor Otto Lummer, another celebrated physicist from Breslau University.

When Wood went up to his room to dress for dinner, he found to his horror that all of his numerous pieces of rubber, glass, iron, and brass hardware had been unpacked and arranged in neat rows on the dressing table, alongside the combs, brushes, etc. It was an appalling sight! He found the old rags and undergarments that he had used to wrap up his instruments carefully put away in the lower drawer of a dresser.

Wood says:

When dinner was announced, Lady Rayleigh came up and, signifying that I was to be her escort, took my offered arm.

Professor Lummer glared his disapproval at what he evidently considered a violation of precedence and great presumption on my part. He was a privat docent somewhere, I believe, when I was only a student. Further and very strong disapproval of Lady Rayleigh’s table arrangements was shown presently. A card with my name on it marked the place next to Lady Rayleigh’s chair. Lummer looked at it and elbowing me along took his place behind my chair and announced in a fairly loud voice, “I think I will me here sit”. Lady Rayleigh gasped in horror and gave me an agonized but half-amused look. “In that case”, I said, moving along to Lummer’s reservation, “with Lady Rayleigh’s permission, I will me here sit”. I have never forgotten the expression on the face of the venerable butler, who was standing behind Lady Rayleigh’s chair during this drama.

Waking up early next morning, I thought I would slip out and make a water-color sketch before breakfast. The heavy curtains were drawn over the windows, but there was plenty of light to dress by, and there seemed to be some concealed gadget which had to be uncovered before the daylight could be admitted, so I started to dress in the gloom. Suddenly there was a loud rap at the door. I was in undershirt, drawers, and socks, but I leaped back into bed, pulled up the bedclothes to my chin, and waited to see what came next; a second rap, and then the door opened softly, and the valet tiptoed into the room. I turned over and gave a poor imitation of a sleepy yawn, for I am always wide awake and alert in a fraction of a second, even if aroused from a deep sleep. The valet glided noiselessly to the window, and drew the curtains. I yawned again and stretched out my arms. “Good morning, sir, and a fine day, sir”, said the valet, after the manner of all English valets. “And how will you have your bath, sir?”. “Cold”, I said. ” ’Kyou, sir”, said the valet and vanished silently. Presently a large circular tub was brought in, planted on the floor in the center of the huge bedroom, and its basement space filled from pitchers innumerable. “Anything more, sir?” said the valet. “No”, said I emphatically, fearing that he might try to take me out of bed and bathe me, and thus discover the fact that I apparently slept in my underclothes. “Very good, sir. Thank you, sir”. So I got out of bed, undressed, and got busy with the problem of how to take a bath in a circular tin platter six feet in diameter.