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“Oh, God,” said Brutus. “This is just an appetizer for Tex, isn’t it? A dress rehearsal. The moment that garden house is gone he’ll come for our home!”

“We better tell Marge,” said Harriet. “She’s the only one who can stop thismadness!”

And so we all ran into the house, popping through that pet flap one after the other, then spread out to look for the lady of the manor. If anyone could stop Terminator Tex, it was Marge!

“Marge!” I called out as I skipped into the living room.

“Marge!” I could hear Dooley yelling as he checked the upstairs bedroom.

“Marge, where are you!” Brutus called down into the basement.

“Marge, your husband has gone completely stark raving mad!” Harriet yelled.

But unfortunately of Marge there was no trace.

We gathered in the kitchen.“Maybe she’s gone into hiding,” Harriet suggested.

“Maybe Tex locked her up in the attic,” was Brutus’s opinion.

“Maybe Tex chopped her up into little pieces and stuffed her into the freezer!” Dooley cried.

But just then, and much to our elation, Gran walked into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge.

“Gran!” Dooley practically screamed, causing the old lady to jump.

“Dooley, you startled me!” she said, clutching a hand to her chest.

“It’s Tex,” said Harriet. “He’s lost his mind.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” said Gran as she stuck her head in the fridge and started rummaging around for something to eat.

“No, but he’s really lost his mind,” I said. “He’s taking a sledgehammer to the garden house and completely demolishing it!”

“Of course he is,” said Gran with infuriating equanimity. “How else is he going to build our new spa?” She retracted her head and fixed us with a kindly look. “When you want to make an omelet, you have to break some eggs. Hasn’t anyone ever told you that?”

“Is Tex making an omelet?” asked Dooley with a puzzled frown.

“No, but he’s creating our family’s newest venture: the Poole Spa& Pool, of which I’m the proud General Manager. So rejoice, ladies and gentlemen, for a new era of wealth and prosperity is about to commence. Within a few short months we’ll all be rich!”

And with these surprising words, she stuck a piece of cold chicken between her dentures and walked out, leaving four cats in the throes of a very powerful emotion. An emotion that can only be described as utter and complete stupefaction.

CHAPTER 11

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“The Poole Spa& Pool,” said Brutus with a touch of reverence. “It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

“No, it does not,” Harriet snapped. “It means they’re going to turn our lovely little home into some kind of glitzy resort, Brutus! Like the Ritz or the Carlton!”

“I think it’s actually the Ritz-Carlton,” I said, but she ignored me.

“Odd,” said Brutus. “I thought there were laws against constructing a resort in the middle of a residential area.”

“Laws are there to be broken, sugar plum,” said Harriet. “And remember who Tex’s sister-in-law is.”

She was right, of course. Marge’s brother’s girlfriend is town mayor, and probably wouldn’t mind bending a few rules and issuing a building permit were a building permit wasn’t strictly allowed. In that sense, Tex was on velvet. He could build his big spa resort and the town council wouldn’t utter a word in protest.

Who was uttering a word in protest was Dooley.“So Tex and Marge are starting a giant resort,” he said, “and Odelia is starting a bed and breakfast in the air, and, and… where does that leave us, you guys!”

It was a question that gave us all pause. I don’t know if you know, but cats enjoy a sedentary life—a life of peace and quiet and fixed habits. In that sense you might even call us autistic. And as far as I know life in a spa is never very peaceful or very quiet or staid. Guests come and go all the time, and usually these places come equipped with a fitness club and a nail salon and sometimes even with a hotel so guests who come from farther afield can still enjoy the spa experience.

And so as we slunk out of the house once more, and found ourselves confronted with a sweaty Tex who stood leaning on his sledgehammer and eyeing his work of destruction with satisfaction, I have to say a sense of gloom wrapped itself around us like a wet blanket.

“It’s the end of an era, my friends,” Brutus spoke softly. “Our home is no longer our home.”

“Yeah, it’s official,” Harriet chimed in. “The Pooles have finally gone nuts.”

“Or they’ve become very smart,” I said. “There’s probably a lot of money to be made in the wellness industry, and maybe they’re right to grab a piece of it.”

“At the very least they could have told us what they were up to,” said Harriet.

Brutus turned to his lady love.“Which proves my point exactly, sweetums. Humans are duplicitous. That’s just the way they are. They simply can’t help it.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” said Dooley.

We plunked ourselves down on our haunches.“So now what?” asked Harriet. “What are we going to do?”