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“All I wanted was to have our peace and quiet back.”

“You can’t imagine what we’ve had to endure,” said Harriet. “First the baby arrived, causing us all to take a backseat to the little one’s wants and needs, and then you guys arrived and ate our food, took over our couch, used our litter boxes, spoiled our favorite rose bushes… It hasn’t been a fun experience.”

Little John and Little Janine had the decency to look contrite.“I know,” said Little Janine. “And I’ve already apologized.” Then she turned to her friend and housemate. “I told you not to eat everything and to leave some for the others.”

Little John gave me a sad look.“Traveling makes me stressed, Max. And when I’m stressed I want to eat. So I ate. All of it and then some. I’m sorry, you guys.”

“That’s all right,” I said. “I also like to eat when I’m stressed.”

“And also when you’re not stressed,” said Brutus with a grin.

“So I can sympathize.” I then glanced in Harriet and Brutus’s direction, and gave them an encouraging nod. When they still didn’t take the hint, I said, “And now Harriet and Brutus are also going to apologize for their appalling behavior.” And since they still looked reluctant, I gave Harriet a prod in the rear.

“Ow! What are you—okay, all right, I apologize. I shouldn’t have done what I did.” Though I had the distinct impression she was secretly proud of her work.

“I also want to apologize,” said Brutus with a big smirk. “I’m deeply, deeply sorry that I snuck into your humans’ bedroom last night—which actually is our humans’ bedroom—and left a message on their pillows. Though I can assure you it wasn’t easy. Janine is a light sleeper. For amoment there I thought she was going to wake up and catch me in the act. So to speak.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” I said. “I’m sure Little John and Little Janine aren’t interested to hear all the sordid details of your midnight marauding. And now I hope we can leave this entire episode behind us and move on.”

Little Janine nodded.“I forgive you, Brutus, Harriet… and you, Prunella.”

“Does your poo smell like roses, Prunella?” asked Dooley. “Cause you smell like roses.”

“I wish!” said Prunella. “No, I’m sure my poo smells like your poo, Dooley.”

“It does? So nice that we have something in common.”

And so we decided to let bygones be bygones. And I have to say that once we’d moved past our differences, we all got along like sailors on shore leave. And when Fifi also joined us, and even Rufus decided to drop by, the gang was complete and a wonderful time was had by all. At least until we were shooed out of the backyard by Opal, who said we were obstructing the camera’s view of the backyard, which she was going to use as the backdrop for the interview.

Once in Tex and Marge’s backyard, we were met with a peaceful sight: Tessa and Dante were enjoying a delicious breakfast, accompanied by Tex, Marge and Gran.

“You have a lovely home here, Marge,” said Tessa. “And a wonderful family.”

“I know,” said Marge, well pleased. “We’re very lucky, my husband and I.”

“And once we build that spa…” Gran began, but Marge shut her up with a single glance, and the old lady complied with an eye roll and a deep sigh.

“We were thinking of moving out here,” said Tessa. “You have such a great quality of life here in Hampton Cove.”

“Would be even better if we had a nice spa,” Gran muttered.

“Is it true that Janine and John are thinking of moving here?” asked Marge.

Tessa and Dante shared a look.“I don’t know,” said Dante. “Where have you heard that?”

“Oh, I heard it from someone, can’t remember who now. So is it true?”

“You’d have to ask them,” said Dante diplomatically. He glanced down at me. “Hey, I remember this big guy now. He visited us back in London, didn’t he?”

“I did,” I confirmed. “So where is Fluffy? Didn’t she come with you?”

“I seem to remember you had a dog?” said Marge, taking my hint.

“Oh, of course, Fluffy,” said Tessa. “We left him in LA. The kids, too.”

“Kids, plural?” I asked. My, my, they had been busy.

“Stop harassing the humans and let them enjoy their breakfast, Max,” said Prunella, and so I stopped harassing the humans and we ventured further into the backyard.

I could have explained to Prunella that harassing humans is what we did, but Little John seemed to have picked up a scent, for he was gesticulating excitedly in the direction of the hedge.“I think I’ve got something!” he cried. “Must be a tabloid reporter!”

“John has been training Little John to sniff out tabloid reporters and paparazzi,” Little Janine explained. “He dislikes them so much he’s even told Little John to bite first and ask questions later, though I doubt Little John is capable of physical violence. He’s more a peaceable kind ofdog.”

“Itis a tabloid reporter!” Little John cried, wagging his tail. “I’m sure of it!”

“What’s a tabloid reporter, Max?” asked Dooley.

“It’s a reporter who works for a tabloid,” said Harriet. “Isn’t that obvious?”

Dooley chewed on this for a moment, then said,“What’s a tabloid, Max?”