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“Of course I’m sure. She doesn’t need to see this. And franklyhe doesn’t need to seeher!”

“I just don’t get it,” said Scarlett with a shake of the head.

“Oh, but I do. He’s a guy, and guys are all the same. Haven’t you learned that by now?”

“Yeah, but not him. I thought he was special.”

“Why should he be the exception to the rule?” asked Vesta, and halted in front of the Cool Cucumber, one of a recent crop of new eateries that had sprung up in town.

“Are you sure it’s here?” asked Scarlett as she tried to glance in through the window.

“If my informer is correct—and I don’t see any reason why he would lie to me—this is the place.” She took a deep breath and shared a look with her friend. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this,” Scarlett echoed. She wasn’t normally a big fan of these types of interventions, but it was Vesta’s call, and frankly she felt it was the right one. “What if he tries to escape?”

“Oh, he won’t try to escape,” said Vesta, and she sounded sure of herself. Frankly Scarlett wouldn’t try to escape either when she saw Vesta bearing down on her.

So they both entered the restaurant, and quickly glanced around to see if they could spot the guilty party. Scarlett still held out hope Vesta’s informer was mistaken, but then suddenly she spotted the man, and from the way he was behaving it was clear Vesta had been right on the money—unfortunately.

So they both walked up to the guy, who was seated all by his lonesome at a table for two, and while Vesta took a seat across from him, Scarlett took up position behind him, so he wouldn’t be able to escape should he try to make a run for it.

“Hello, Tex,” said Vesta.

Tex looked up at his mother-in-law and there was a hint of alarm in his voice when he said,“Vesta? What are you doing here?”

“I think the more important question is: what are you doing here?”

“I, um… well, I was hungry and I decided to try this new restaurant.”

“Bullshit,” said Vesta, and Scarlett credited her friend for staying so calm and collected under the circumstances.

Tex laughed uncertainly.“A man is allowed to eat, isn’t he?”

“Are you seriously telling me that if I go over to the guy at the reservation desk and ask him who your date is that he won’t give me her name?”

Tex twisted a little in his chair, and made a motion to move it back. Scarlett had placed her foot against the legs of the chair, though, so the good doctor was effectively trapped.“Look, I don’t understand what’s going on here,” said Tex. “I just wanted to have lunch, and you’re barging in here and accusing me of—of what, exactly?”

“I’m accusing you of cheating on your wife, Tex—my daughter.”

“Cheating on my wife! Are you nuts?”

“No, but you must be—to think that you can sneak around behind Marge’s back and start dating other women.”

“I’m not dating other women!”

“So when we sit here and wait, no woman will come walking in through that door over there, expecting to have lunch with you?”

“I don’t believe this!” Tex spat. “You’re really suggesting… you’re really thinking… you really expect me to…”

“I expect you to stop lying and tell me what the hell you think you’re doing, Tex Poole!” said Vesta, raising her voice for the first time.

“But I… I don’t… I don’t think…” the doctor stammered.

“Look, I know you have a date with Evelina Pytel, and I want to know why. Though scratch that. I know why. Because you’re a guy. Well, let me tell you why this is a very bad idea, Tex,” said Vesta, now wagging a menacing finger in her son-in-law’s face. “Because if you pull a stunt like this one more time I’m not just going to tell Marge, I’m also going to skin you alive, and I’ll start by boiling your stupid head!”

“You wouldn’t… you wouldn’t tell Marge, would you?”

“Not unless you keep lying to me.”

Tex finally relented, as Scarlett knew he would.“It’s Emma Bezel. She asked me to take her sister Evelina out on a date. Not a real date, mind you. Just a friendly lunch type of thing.”

“And you really expect me to believe you?”

“It’s the God’s honest truth! I didn’t want to go through with it at first, but she convinced me. She said Evelina is suicidal, and she respects me. She said that if a man showed her a kindness like this, it would mean the world to her. And it might help her get out of her funk.”

“Tex Poole,” said Vesta in measured tones, “you are either the dumbest man I’ve ever met, or the absolute worst. But looking at you now I’m going with the first option. You really thought this was a good idea?”

“Well…” said Tex, wavering a little. “Emma pointed out that as a doctor I have a duty of care toward my patients, and so… well, I figured she was probably right.”

“Oh, God,” said Vesta, and closed her eyes then pinched the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. She then picked up the napkin that was lying on the table and proceeded to hit Tex over the head with it.