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“They could always try for police academy,” Dooley suggested.

“Police academy! Those two? You must be crazy!”

“No, but I mean… they would make great cops,” said Dooley. “The fox that becomes the rabbit. Or is it the rabbit that becomes the fox? It’s a thing. I saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel once about a reformed crook who now spends his time putting his former colleagues behind bars.”

“You mean like that Leonardo DiCaprio movie?” I said.

“Catch me if you can!” Harriet suddenly blurted out.

Dooley stared at her with interest.“If you want to play that game you have to make a run for it first, Harriet.”

“No, it’s a movie, silly. Catch Me If You Can. About a guy who used to do all kinds of bad stuff and now he helps the FBI catch the people who used to be in his line of work. It’s based on a real story of a person who really did all of that stuff.”

“I didn’t know Leonardo DiCaprio used to be crook,” said Dooley, interested in this peculiar piece of news.

“Leonardo DiCaprio was just playing the criminal. As an actor?”

“Oh, right,” said Dooley, understanding dawning.

“And the cop who was chasing him was played by Tom Hanks,” said Brutus. “We saw that movie together, didn’t we, sugar lips?”

“Yeah, Marge was saying when we watched it how funny it would be if Johnny and Jerry would become cops one day, and work for her brother.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” said Brutus. “Like I said, recidivism is a tough proposition. Very hard for these people to leave behind that life of crime.”

We’d finally arrived home, and as we walked past a Fiat that stood parked in front of Marge and Tex’s house, I happened to pick up a familiar scent. “Hey, you guys,” I said. “Come over here a minute. Do you smell that?”

My friends all joined me, and took a good sniff around the little car.“It smells like… Johnny and Jerry,” said Brutus.

“Yes, it does,” said Harriet. “What are the odds they’d be hiding out here someplace?”

And as I sniffed a little more, and followed the trail, not unlike a police dog would, I found myself moving up the path to the front door of Odelia’s parents’ house, with the scent growing stronger by the second.

I turned to my friends.“You know what? I think they’re here.”

“Impossible,” said Brutus. “Those crooks would never come here.”

“Why not?” I said. “They like and respect Marge. They used to work for her at the library, remember? And they got along terrifically.”

“But don’t they know that she’s the sister of the Chief of Police? The man who’s searching high and low for their whereabouts?”

“You’ve got to admit,” said Harriet, “that thinking has never been their strong suit. In fact their lack of brains is what keeps leading them into trouble over and over again.”

We all sat there, staring at the closed door, then decided to move around the back and take a look for ourselves, to ascertain whether this wild and crazy theory could possibly have a basis in fact.

So we rounded the house, then snuck in through the pet flap, and soon found ourselves in the kitchen.

“Nothing,” said Brutus. “What did I tell you? They would never dare to show their faces here.”

But then we heard noises upstairs, and the shuffling of feet.

“I think we better go and have a look,” I said. “Marge and Tex are supposed to be asleep, not dancing the Viennese waltz.”

So we moved up the stairs, single file, and as we crept into the bedroom were surprised to find the lights ablaze, but of Tex and Marge there was no sign.

“Johnny and Jerry took them hostage, too!” said Harriet.

“I think this is a bad idea,” suddenly we heard Tex exclaim.

We proceeded in the direction of the sound, and, arriving in the guest bedroom, found ourselves witnessing an unusual sight: Marge and Tex were there, which was to be expected as this was their home, but also Johnny and Jerry, standing next to the guest bed. On that bed, looking pale and motionless, lay Lord Hilbourne—currently the most famous man in Hampton Cove—and also the most sought-after.

Chapter 33

“See?” said Brutus, a note of triumph in his voice. “I told you that these bozos would never be able to get rehabilitated. Once a crook, always a crook.”

“You really shouldn’t have come here,” said Tex, addressing Jerry, whom he seemed to have singled out as the intelligent one.

“I know, I know,” said Jerry. “But Johnny figured you were our best option. Better tell them the story, Johnny. And leave no detail out, no matter how insignificant.”

“Well, it all started with me being afraid of heights, see,” said the big lug.

“I didn’t know you were afraid of heights, Johnny,” said Marge, a note of affection in her voice that Brutus probably didn’t like to see there.

“Yeah, it’s very annoying, especially in my line of work.”

“You mean because you frequently have to break into places?” asked Tex.

“No, because I’m so tall I always find myself looking down on people.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s not important,” said Jerry. “Get to the part where we met those two idiots next door.”