Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 105, Nos. 3 & 4. Whole Nos. 640 & 641, March 1995

“Don’t sound so pitiful.”

“I’m not being pitiful.” He knew he had to channel this in another direction. He was losing his edge. “Why do you care so little about how I feel? If I didn’t care so much I wouldn’t call. It doesn’t really matter what you think of me. I’m only concerned about you.”

“Don’t try to make me feel bad about my decision, or I’ll hang up.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. Why are you being so hard?” This had been a bad idea. Everything he said was the wrong thing. He wanted to be angry, but was too desperate to feel angry. “I only wanted to see how you were doing and tell you that I found that lost earring of yours. The jade one that you got from your daughter.”

“You found it? I thought we turned your house inside out. Where was it?”

“It was stuck to a little flap of duct tape on the back of the nightstand. It fell off like we thought, but never made it to the floor. It got stuck on this tape.”

Gene had totally forgotten about the earring until the moment he blurted out about finding it. He knew what the earring meant to her. He should have thought of it earlier. “I wanted to return it and see how you were.”

She was silent for a moment and he knew it was no time to hesitate. “I know that you’d probably prefer I didn’t bring it by your apartment. Would you mind if we met somewhere so I could give it to you? It wouldn’t take but a second.”

“Couldn’t you just leave it at the office?”

“I could, but I’d really like to give it to you personally,” he said, adding quietly, as if as an afterthought, “We could just meet at the park. You know, Martinez Park, down by the river.” They had taken walks there before.

“I really don’t think we should see each other again. I’ve said everything I want to say and there’s no point in rehashing things. Why don’t you just drop it off at the office. Leave it with Marie. She’ll get it to me.”

“Please, Vicky. I don’t want to make a big thing out of this, but it’d be really nice if we could just meet and say hello, and I could give you your earring.” Gene was prepared to say he wouldn’t give it to her any other way, but that would be his last, desperate option. He didn’t want her to know his desperation. He knew that was what frightened her.

“Okay, Gene. But I’m warning you: I’ll only stay long enough to say hello and get the earring back. Not a second longer.”

“Vicky, that’s all I want. Nothing more.”

And now she was walking toward him and Gene knew he should resist the urge to rush over and hug her and kiss her and show her how he felt. Instead, he calmly let her walk over to where he stood waiting on the hill above the playground. The October-like weather of the day before had been replaced by a quick-moving cold front. A thin layer of snow laced the entire area. It was in the thirties, but a brisk wind out of the northwest made it feel much colder.

She had on a pale blue hat of lambswool and matching scarf and mittens. Her hair, the blond of an Aspen tree’s bark with the same silvery streaks, fluttered around her face. She stood without speaking, holding her mittened hands before her. Gene moved toward her, feeling tears leak from his eyes, wind-tears, but it wasn’t the wind at all.

“Hi, Vick,” he said, reaching his arms out to hug her. She stopped just short of him, his gesture dying as his arms slowly fell to his side. “You look great,” he said as he noticed how she self-consciously avoided coming any closer. He sniffed and looked over his shoulder toward the path. “Would you mind a little walk?”

She had on her long coat and as the wind continued to whip around them, she crossed her arms and angled her head at him. “I know you don’t intentionally try to deceive me, but that’s just what you’re doing.” She shook her head, which still held that angle. “I really don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I just don’t think we have anything to talk about.”

Gene smiled, calculating that it would make him look sheepish. “Please. We’ll just go a little way. There’s something I want to show you.”

“I need to get back to work. Would you just return my earring?”

Gene felt the end of the walking stick in his pocket and suddenly wished that he had arranged this all differently. He’d thought she would be more giving if they met face-to-face, but she still seemed to have totally abandoned him. If he could only touch her, maybe that would make the difference. He felt the urge in his hands and his arms, he wanted just to feel her body and he would have some relief, but he resisted.

“I’ll give it to you if that’s all you want, but I don’t think that what I have to say will delay you too much. And there really is something I’d like for you to see. It might explain to you how I really feel.”