Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 116, Nos. 3 & 4. Whole Nos. 709 & 710, September/October 2000

Not that Vern had paid much attention. All he remembered was that it had been a heavy, serious affair and that the man was married. A classic babe situation was Vern’s diagnosis.

“We’re becoming serious, right?” he repeated.

“I’d like to think so,” said Sandy. “But I didn’t think you were ready to settle down.”

The very words “settle down” iced Vern’s stomach. “Sometimes you need a reversal to let you see what’s really important,” he said. “You know what I mean? You get too many toys, you don’t always see the essentials.”

Sandy inclined her head in agreement.

“The hell of it is, now that I see what I want in life, I’ve got this major cash-flow problem. Way things are going, I don’t look able to settle down, as it were, for another decade.”

Sandy took his hand sympathetically. “You’re a smart guy,” she said, “and I make a good living. Between the two of us...”

“Sandy, darling,” he kissed her hand, “I couldn’t do that to you. I’m under a whole landfill of debt.” He described his follies in the market, the horrors of selling short in a rising Dow, and then, when he had discouraged her pretty thoroughly, he presented his idea.

-“You see, at this point, I might be worth more dead than alive.”

“Vern!”

“Listen a minute. I’ve still got Lively Lady — haven’t been able to sell her for what I paid for her. If I were... well, say I was to be lost out in the Sound. With the insurance on the boat and my personal life policy — you hear what I’m saying? I’m seeing a kind of nest egg for us.” Emphasis on ‘us.’ “And risk free. I mean, I wouldn’t have to be anywhere near the water. Not if someone convincing was to put the alarm in to the Coast Guard. That’s the key, someone convincing. Someone like you who can really act up a storm.”

Sandy didn’t say anything for moment, but, of course, she knew the legal ramifications. Vern was just beginning to worry when she asked, “Who’s the beneficiary?”

“Why you, of course. It would have to be you.”

“How new’s the policy?”

“I don’t have it yet. I didn’t think I needed a big insurance policy. I wasn’t going to disappear at sea when I had everything going great, was I?”

In his irritation, Vern let his voice rise just a little.

Sandy shook her head with what seemed to be regret. “Too big a coincidence. It’s got fraud written all over it.”

She didn’t seem shocked, just practical. Vern could see the problems, but now that he’d actually voiced the idea, he hated to give it up. Before he could reconsider, he heard himself say, “It would be all right if we were engaged. If we were engaged, the policy would make plenty sense.”

“Are we engaged?” she asked.

Vern hesitated for a fraction of a second. He wasn’t eager to risk his freedom, but he could see from her eyes that nothing less would do. “I’d like that,” he said.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes, yes, I mean it,” said Vern, who thought that he was becoming a pretty good actor, himself.

She smiled then, the big, open smile he liked so much. “Well, all right,” she said.

Vern kissed her hand.

“But I’ll need a ring. It won’t be plausible without a ring.”

“We need a major ring!” Vern did enjoy shopping. “We’ll hit Lux Bond and Green tomorrow. Maybe a party, too?”

“Yes,” she said, then, “No. No party. Not if you’re going to disappear. I’d feel that I was deceiving my family. You know.”

This tenderness of conscience made Vern uneasy. “But they’ll have to know. I mean, before we do it.”

“Oh, sure. Nearer the time I’ll tell them. It’s just that it will be hard. You’ll disappear and be lost, and they’ll feel bad and I’ll always have to be pretending. Acting.”

“You’re such a terrific actress,” Vern murmured.

When Sandy shrugged and looked sad, it passed through his mind that he had never met her family, the family who would grieve for his loss. He was marrying a woman unknown in certain essential aspects. But then Vern reminded himself that at this stage, their marriage itself was still hypothetical. Once they got hold of the money, things could change, might change, would have to change. “Sure, wait till we get the ring and have everything set.” He raised his glass. “To insurance,” he said, and immediately thought that he should have said, “To us.”

But Sandy smiled. “To the depths of the sea,” she replied.

The next day, Vern began to put his plans in motion. Fortunately, with running a marina and selling yachts, he had acquired useful contacts. Guys who pay cash for fast boats and sail them into the wee hours have esoteric knowledge: like where to get a new identity cheapest and the easiest way to leave the good old U.S. of A. and emerge with a new name and new papers in our friendly big neighbor to the north. Stuff like that.