Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 116, Nos. 3 & 4. Whole Nos. 709 & 710, September/October 2000

Matt and Sean came in, took their packets off of Mickey’s desk, and sat down to read their day’s work.

First up was a Notice of Judgment against Mohammed Ben Zekri out in Herndon, then a witness subpoena for Vu Tran Nguyen in Falls Church. Vu had seen an automobile accident. Lorelei Petty was going to get a notice of deposition in the divorce case of Truman and Molly Wing. She was going to be asked about her affair in excruciating detail. Truman’s attorney had a very limited imagination, and the mechanics of lesbian love had to be repeated over and over before he got it. A restraining order was today’s bit of sunshine for Gustavo Martin, courtesy of his girlfriend Mirabella Montoya of the bloodied nose and chipped-tooth Montoyas. Last but not least was a subpoena duces tecum for the records of Lowell Gorman, DDS, pioneer in the use of anesthetic-shrouded sex as a dental procedure.

“How much for these, Mickey?”

“Ben Zekri, Nguyen, and Petty are twenty-five each; Gorman is thirty, and Martin is fifty.”

“Anything special we should know?”

“Watch out for Martin. Serve him together. This isn’t the first girl he’s slapped around. He’s out on bond and looking at some time inside for this one. He won’t be in a good mood when you find him.”

Mickey cleared his throat. “Uh, I’ve got a piece of bad news for you guys. You know that case you’ve been working on for Barton and Hammon?”

“Yeah,” they said, drawing the syllable out slowly. They had been working for days to find a way to serve Byron Putnam, who oscillated between his gated condominium in McLean and a security office building on K Street. He was now worth $4.00 an hour and sinking fast.

“They want it back. They know you’ve had trouble getting to Putnam. There’s another agency that says they can get into his building.”

“Who?” Matt asked.

“Amanda Marshall.”

“Right. She thinks one of her ho’s in hot pants and a halter is gonna do the job.”

“Yep.”

The boys shook their heads. “She’s probably right,” Sean said. “The gimp at the gate will go brain dead, drool down her cleavage, and the chemical reaction will make her invisible. I remember reading about that.”

“Hey, I’m sorry. I know you guys put a lot of time on that one, but they’re the clients. They can take the paper back.”

“Fine, fine. It’s out in the car. We’ll drop it by their office later today. Any more good news?” Sean muttered.

“No. That’s it.”

“How about letting us into the ‘Icebox.’ We’ve been here almost three months already. You know we can do the job. How about it?” Matt asked.

Mickey mulled it over. They were leaving soon to go back to school. He wanted to hold it out as a carrot to get them to come back over the Christmas break. On the other hand, they were reliable and hard-working. Maybe a taste of bigger things now would whet their appetite. Christmas gifts could run into beaucoup dollars.

“All right. Here’s the rules. The Icebox has papers we haven’t been able to serve. They may not even be valid anymore. You’ll have to check with the lawyer and the client to see if they still want them served. If they do, and you’re successful, you keep all the money. So check with the attorney on that, too; some are worth more than others. But it’s strictly a sideline — something you do after you hit the current jobs. I like keeping that box small. That means we tag all the fresh ones. Understood?”

“Understood.”

Sean took the box down and sat it on his lap. Matt leaned over as they thumbed through the papers. They were filed alphabetically.

“We’ll come back when we’re done today and research these, see which ones we want to pursue,” Sean said.

“Good hunting. You better hit the streets. One last word about the Icebox, even though I don’t think you need it. One reason I don’t let everybody in there is because of the risk of sewer service.”

“What?”

“Sewer service. I once had a guy claim he’d served a paper when he’d flushed it down the toilet. He figured we couldn’t find the guy so he wasn’t gonna show. Easy money. Well, we couldn’t find him because he was dead. That came up at the hearing. Not a shining moment. I got a reprimand and he got sixty days. My reputation rides along with you two every day, but hey, I don’t need to say that, that’s why I’m letting you into the Icebox.”

Mickey’s office was in one of the faux-colonial buildings that ring the courthouse and public-safety building. They took 66 West from there to the parkway, then across the county over the Dulles access road into Herndon. Matt drove and his brother navigated.

“Right here, Matt, into this development. Take the first left and go straight to the end.”

“Where do we stand, Sean?”

“You’re up thirty-five. I figured to take two of the twenty-fives and the doctor. You take the other two and we’re even.”

“All right. This one’s yours.”