Faith of the Fallen

"Will you stay with me, Mother Confessor? Please?"

"For a while, sweetheart."

Holly fell asleep cuddled up to Kahlan. Kahlan wept frustrated bitter tears over the sleeping girl, a girl who should have the right to live her life. Others, though, lusted to steal that right at the point of a blade.

After she had finally decided what she must do, Kahlan slipped silently out of the tent to go pack her things.

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It was just turning light when Kahlan emerged from her tent carrying her bedroll, saddlebags, D'Haran sword, the Sword of Truth, leather armor, and pack with the rest of her things. Spirit was safely rolled up in her bedroll.

A light snow was just beginning to fall, announcing to the muted camp that winter had arrived in the northern Midlands.

Everything seemed as if it was ending. It wasn't just Warren's death that convinced her, but rather the futility it symbolized. She could no longer delude herself. The truth was the truth. Richard was right.

The Order would have it all. Sooner or later, they would have her and kill her, along with those who fought with her. It was only a matter of time until they enslaved all of the New World. They already had much of the Midlands. Some lands had fallen willingly. There was no way to resist a force of their overwhelming size, the terror of their threats, or the seduction of their promises.

Warren had attested it as part of his dying words: Richard was right.

She had thought she could make a difference. She had thought she could drive back the advancing hordes-by the sheer weight of her will, if need be.

It was arrogance on her part. The forces of freedom were lost.

Many of the people in those fallen lands had put their faith in the Order at the cost of their liberty.

What was left to her? Running. Retreat. Terror. Death.

She had nothing to lose anymore, really. Nearly everything was already lost, or soon would be. While she at least still had her life, she was going to use it.

She was going to go to the heart of the Order.

"What are you doing?"

Kahlan spun around to see Cara frowning at her.

"Cara, I. . I'm leaving."

Cara gave a single nod. "Good. I, too, think it is time. I won't be long getting my things together. You get the horses, and I'll meet-"

"No. I'm going alone. You will stay here."

Cara stroked her long blond braid laying over the front of her shoulder. "Why are you going?"

"There's nothing left here for me to do-nothing I can do. I'm going to go drive my sword into the heart of the Order: Brother Narev and his disciples. It's the only thing I can do to strike back at them."

Cara smiled. "And you think I want to stay here?"

"You will stay here, where you should be. . with Benjamin."

"I'm sorry, Mother Confessor," Cara said tenderly, "but I can't follow such orders. I am Mord-Sith. My life is sworn to protecting Lord Rahl. I promised Lord Rahl I would protect you, not stay and kiss Benjamin."

"Cara, I want you to stay here-"

"It's my life. If this is the end, all there is to be, then I will do with the rest of my life as I wish. It's my life to live, not yours to live for me. I'm going, and that is final."

Kahlan saw in Cara's eyes that it was. Kahlan didn't think she had ever heard Cara express such a sentiment about her own wishes. It was indeed her life. Besides, Cara knew where Kahlan was going. If Kahlan left without Cara, Cara would simply follow. Getting Mord-Sith to obey orders was often more difficult than herding ants.

"You're right, Cara; it is your life. But when we get down into the Old World, you're going to have to wear something to disguise who you are. Red leather in the Old World will be the end of us."

"I will do what I must to protect you and Lord Rahl."

Kahlan smiled at last. "I believe you would, Cara."

Cara wasn't smiling. Kahlan's smile faded.

"I'm sorry I tried to leave without you, Cara. I shouldn't have done it that way. You're a sister of the Agiel. I should have talked it over with you. That's the proper way to treat someone you respect."

Cara smiled at last. "Now you are making sense."

"We might not ever come back from this."

Cara shrugged. "And you think we will live the high life if we stay? I think only certain death awaits us if we stay."

Kahlan nodded. "That's what I think, too. That's why I must go."

"I'm not quarreling."

Kahlan gazed out at the falling snow. The last time winter had come, she and Cara had just managed to escape in time.

Kahlan steeled herself and asked, "Cara, do you really believe Richard is still alive?"

"Of course Lord Rahl is alive." Cara held up her Agiel, rolling it in her fingers. "Remember?"

And then she did: the Agiel would only work if the Lord Rahl to whom she was sworn was alive.

Kahlan handed Cara some of her load. "Gadi?"

"He died as Verna wished it. She showed him no pity."

"Good. Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent."

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