Fall in love in a weekwe get by

A small bottle fell into my palm, the glass was warm, and I was suddenly scared. But she immediately clenched her fingers tightly. She asked in a whisper:

– What's there?

– The result of yesterday's experiment. Will you take the risk?

– I'll take a risk. But I'm interested! Still no questions? – I clarified.

– Without. Just have a drink and imagine yourself…you. Your real self, the way you remember and know yourself, the way you are used to seeing in the mirror.

Myself? Sally… Freya? Not… not that damn Barbie?!

I drank it in one gulp and closed my eyes tightly. It was easy to imagine. Much easier than imagining clean cups or this dress. It was enough to remember. An ordinary morning. How I walk barefoot into the bathroom, look in the mirror, smooth my tousled hair with my fingers, but it only gets more shaggy… I wash my face and go to the kitchen to make coffee. I catch the reflection of my figure in the dark glass of the cupboard and wave my hand: “Good morning, Sally!”

Only now, belatedly, melancholy came over me. Previously, probably, there was simply no time for it. I wiped my tears. She turned to Dougal. I wanted to ask – why is all this?

But he looked at me… so strange. Attentively, intently and… tenderly? It was as if he was trying to remember every smallest detail and at the same time appreciate everything… in its entirety. From bare feet to a T-shirt with… ? God! An old, comfortable, beloved, already stretched out and slipping off the shoulder, T-shirt with Darth Vader! Sally, you're in your repertoire. But… It's true. Such as there is. I ran my fingers through my hair. Like in a dream. As always in the morning. Disheveled, uneven strands stick out in all directions. She sighed. God, what a blessing it is to feel… normal? Without that weight in your bra! Easy! Correct. Not a glossy doll with pouty lips.

Dougal moved closer, carefully, as if afraid that any of his movements would suddenly evaporate or melt, touched my cheek, and gently raised my chin. He looked without stopping, squinted, then said:

– Gray. Right?

I nodded silently. Suddenly my lips trembled. Dougal's face blurred before my eyes, and I still asked, sobbing:

– For what?

He pulled me towards him, I buried myself in his shoulder, my palm ran over my back, soothingly, affectionately.

“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t fall in love with a woman I’d never seen.” You are not Miss Blair. You don't match her looks. You can’t imagine the unbearable dissonance. What an annoying need to adjust and guess. Guess which assumptions are correct and which are not. That body is a distraction. Now you are real. Surprisingly correct.

– But I… can’t stay like this?

– And there’s no need. The puzzle is complete. The question has an answer, and it completely suits me.

I hugged him and asked him for some reason about something that had already become extremely clear:

– Is it true? And we… did we succeed? And all will be well?

“We won’t know until we survive the dawn and several hours after.” I'm sorry, I'm not used to… measuring my feelings with ephemeral definitions that cannot be touched and broken down into components.

“It’s nothing,” I said with conviction. – Is it true. I… I feel it. And you don't have to measure it at all.

– Let's see.

He froze, still hugging me. The night dragged on slowly. I didn’t want to talk, I didn’t want to do anything at all. And I didn’t want to ask Dougal how long his elixir would last. I was simply pouring magic into the illusion of the real me. Sounds strange. Sad. I didn't want Freya Sulliva? remained just an illusion. But… at least let it be like this. Better an illusion than nothing at all.

Whatever this dawn brought us, I wanted to meet it with myself. Not Charlotte. Dougal and I both deserve it.

–What will you be afraid of later? – he suddenly asked. – When all this is over.

I didn't have to think long.

– Charlotte's parents. That is, meetings with them. They are not my parents, I am not their daughter. All this… is dishonest! But something will have to be decided about this. I can't… like that.

– It wouldn't be fair if you lie. ?neither should know.

– Yes. But how will I tell them? How can you say this? I can't imagine.

– The truth is never better or worse. She just is. Nothing will change from the wording.

– Will you help me?

– Certainly.

I silently rested my forehead on his shoulder.

When the sky above the trees brightened, we, without saying a word, got up and went to the sea. The sand of the path, hot in the evening, now pleasantly cooled my bare feet. I just conjured up shorts and a sports T-shirt instead of a home shirt. The ones I ran in in the morning.

The park went right to the shore. The waves gently rolled onto the deserted beach. The ocean was smooth, pure blue, and above it was an equally clear sky. Only at the very horizon a narrow strip of clouds gleamed scarlet.

I shuddered when a voice sounded in my ear, which I had already forgotten to think about.

– Goodbye.