Family Ties

“I dunno,” she said shyly. “Do you want to be?”

“Do you?”

“You know I do.”

“So do I. And now I guess it’s official.”

She beamed up at me, so I kissed her, long and lingering.

“Well, that was easy,” I said after. It even seemed a bit anticlimactic, but we’d been building up to it for a while. “Should we celebrate?”

“How?”

“Wild sex on the beach? Run naked through the surf?”

She laughed. “It’s a little cold.”

“Dammit! I knew there was a flaw in my plan. How ’bout another beer instead?”

“I’d like that.” She smiled and mused, “A beer with my new boyfriend.”

“Kinda has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“I do.” She beat me to the punchline. “I know! Not yet.”

I reached into the cooler and pulled out two fresh bottles. We clinked

them together.

After we drank I said, “I meant what I said earlier. About things happening before we’re married.”

“What if I say no? What if I want to wait till we’re married?”

I looked at her and tried to decide how serious she was. Not if she was serious, but how much. A small part of her was still trying to be the good Catholic girl she thought she ought to be.

“In that case,” I said judiciously, “I’d tell you that sex is too important to leave to chance. I’m not going to marry anyone until I know we’re compatible in bed.”

“But can’t you just look at someone and know if they’re right for you?”

“I’ve dated girls I felt that way about. Took one look at ’em and knew we were right for each other.” I snorted. “That’s called ‘lust,’ and it doesn’t always turn into a committed relationship. Besides, sex and love are completely different things.”

“Don’t be silly. No they aren’t.”

“Yes, they are. I love Trip like a brother, but I don’t wanna have sex with him. I had sex with Gracie, but I didn’t love her.” Christy stiffened with annoyance. “Sorry,” I said quickly. “I should’ve chosen a different example.”

“Do we have to talk about your exes?”

“Yeah, we kinda do. Because they affect you and me. Same way your exes affect us. We don’t have to go into details, but hiding from our past isn’t the way to move forward. I had a life before you. I had lovers. You had a life before me. Lovers too.” I laughed softly at a thought. “One of them is still in your life.”

“Who? Simon?”

“No, Wren.”

“Oh. Her.”

“Mmm hmm. ‘Her.’” I sat quietly for a moment. “She loves you, you know.”

She nodded a bit glumly.

“What? You don’t love her back?”

She debated and then shook her head.

“You’re a lousy liar.” I chuckled. I stared into the distance and decided what to say next. “My mother has a lover,” I said, very quietly. “Like you and Wren. They were apart for a while, but I don’t think they ever stopped loving each other.”

“What does your father think? Does he know?”

“That’s a much longer story, but yes, he knows.”

“And he doesn’t care?”

“He cares very much… about my mother’s happiness.” I looked down at her to see if she’d made the connection. Just in case, I said, “That’s how I care about you.”

She nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek.

“So it’s okay if you love Wren.”

“You aren’t jealous?”

“Not at all. Love isn’t some finite quantity.” I laughed gently. “You won’t run out. And you don’t need to save it for marriage or anything.”

“That’s good,” she said with a teary laugh.

“You don’t need to save anything else for marriage either.”

“But what if I want to?”

“I’m not talking about going all the way tonight.” I laughed and hugged her. “We’ll take things slow. Baby steps. And I never thought I’d say this, but…”

“Yes?” she said when the silence drew out.

“I’m kind of looking forward to the slow buildup.” Besides, I still had a lot to tell her about myself and my lifestyle. She wouldn’t change overnight.

So I had to take things slow if I didn’t want to risk losing her.

“You really don’t mind?”

“Part of me does,” I said honestly, “but I’ll give him some attention later.”

She grinned and rolled her eyes.

“Until then, I think we should celebrate our new relationship.”

“Oh? How?”

“Let me demonstrate.” I kissed her, and she sighed as I eased her back to the blanket. “How’s that?”

“Too soon to tell. You’d better try again.”

“My pleasure.”

We kissed slowly and let the heat build. Then I moved my hand to her stomach and watched her expression. She gazed up at me calmly, so I lifted her sweater and pulled her thin blouse from the waistband of her jeans. I stopped when she hissed.

“It’s okay,” she said quickly. “Only, your hand’s cold.”

“Do you want me to take it away?”

She searched my eyes.

“It’s much warmer in here,” I said. When she still didn’t say anything, I eased my hand up her stomach. I found the catch of her bra and popped it.

Then I chuckled. “That’s twice.”

Her brow furrowed.

“I keep getting lucky with your bras. This one and the other one close in front. They can’t all be like that.”

“They aren’t.” She laughed softly. “But a lot of ’em are. I’m so small up top.”

“You aren’t small,” I said as my hand closed on the soft flesh of her breast.

“You’re just saying that ’cause you wanna cop a feel.”

“I’m already copping a feel,” I said. “So why would I lie?”