Family Ties

“Welcome to my world,” I said. “Right now, Susan and my mom are probably relaxing in the hot tub. And they made sure you and I would have some private time too.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“My family is a lot more open about sex than yours.”

“You can say that again— No, don’t!”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I lifted a baggie of sliced carrots and celery.

“You want anything else before we go up?”

“Maybe a bottle of wine?”

“Mmm, sorry. Probably none around. No alcohol in the public areas.

Camp rules. It’s okay for the cabins and RVs, but…” I shrugged. “I’ll have to seduce you with my charm alone.”

“How can you be so calm about it? I mean, we’re about to commit a sin.”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can sleep on one of the bunkbeds. Or you can sleep with Erin.” Although your chances of getting laid are higher with her, I thought wryly.

“No, I didn’t say that. I just said I’m nervous.”

“Nervous is fine. I’m nervous too.”

“Why? You aren’t about to betray your beliefs.”

“You aren’t either,” I said. “And even if you were, they’re a bunch of outdated rules made by celibate old men. They were cranky ’cause they weren’t having sex, and they didn’t want anyone else to have fun either.

Besides, what do they know about being a woman, especially in the eighties?

The nineteen eighties.”

“Nothing,” she said, a touch bitterly.

“Exactly.” I picked her up and set her on the counter. Then I rested my hands midway up her thighs, safely away from the hem of her skirt. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I said softly. “Now’s the time to say so.”

“No, I… want to. I’m just scared.”

“I’m scared too.”

“Why?”

“What if we aren’t compatible? What if I do something you don’t like, or go too far? I don’t wanna mess this up, ’cause I’ve totally fallen for you. I told you, I’m in real danger with you, the till-death-do-us-part kind.”

She stiffened with surprise.

“Yeah, exactly. So I’m pretty nerv—”

My words must have finally sunk in, because she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. And not just any kiss; it was the “take me to bed, now!” variety. I might’ve been slow on the uptake, but I wasn’t an idiot. I scooped her into my arms and headed toward our room, immediately, forthwith, and posthaste.

Halfway there I realized that the little head was running the show. We fought a battle of wills that felt almost physical, until the big head regained a semblance of control.

“What’s the matter?” Christy asked, breathless and confused. “Are you okay? You just…”

I chuckled and then smiled to reassure her. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me,” she said anxiously.

“Okay. But in a minute. One, it’s a little chilly out here. And two, we’re standing in the middle of the road.”

She nodded and held on to my neck so I could free a hand to open the door to our room. I maneuvered her through it and kicked it shut behind us.

Then I set her on the top of the dresser. I’d already killed the urgency of the moment, so I decided to explain.

“I’m fine,” I said, “but… I just had a little argument with my dick.”

Her eyes widened.

“Yeah. I sort of… talk to it. I think of it as a separate person. I know it isn’t, but sometimes I treat it like one. You know, like when it wants to do things one way, but the big head wants to do them another.”

“You’re serious,” she said slowly.

“Completely. And I used to lose most of the arguments I had with it. So we did what my dick wanted, regardless of the consequences. I made some really bad decisions when I let it do the thinking.”

She looked dubious. “Like… what?”

“Do you really wanna get into that now? Talk about my past mistakes in

the girlfriend department?”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

“Exactly. So just take my word for it. Not good if the little head runs the show by itself, especially in a new situation. Like… with a new girlfriend.

One I really like, but who wants to take things slow.”

“Oh. Right.”

“So the little head and I had a chat. I… convinced it… to do things my way.”

She was warming to the idea that I really did have two-sided conversations with my penis. “What did you tell him?”

“Threatened it— him with solitary confinement.”

She compressed her lips and tried not to grin.

“Told him he could stay in my pants all night.”

“And he listened?”

“What choice did he have?”

“Do you think it would help…?”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe if… I talk to him?”

“Would you like to?”

She looked down and plucked up her courage. “Very much.”

“Good. ’Cause he really wants to talk to you. But on my terms.”

“I’d like that,” she said softly.

“I was hoping you would.” I lifted her chin and kissed her, with a lot more tenderness and intimacy than the kiss that had started it all. “But first…

you’re way too overdressed to meet him.”

“Oh?” She batted her eyes coquettishly. “There’s a dress code?”

“Well, you are at a nudist camp. In a nudist room. About to get into a nudist bed. With a nudist man.”

“I sense a theme…”

“Mmm hmm. So… are you ready to try being a nudist?”

“Just with you?”

I nodded.