Fated

‘What’s wrong?’ Luna asked.

‘Nothing happened,’ Starbreeze said, sounding disappointed.

The Docklands vanished behind us, their lights merging with the rest of London as Starbreeze lifted us higher and higher into the sky. Already we were far enough away to be invisible to anyone watching. ‘Trust me, Starbreeze,’ I said as we banked and turned north, heading home. ‘It was exciting enough down on our end.’

Starbreeze dropped us on my roof and I gave her something or other and watched her soar away. My shop was dark and quiet. All around, I could hear the sounds of the city again, distant and reassuring. All of a sudden, I didn’t want to deal with magic and mages any more; I just wanted to be home and safe. ‘Want a drink?’ I said, smothering a yawn as we walked through the hall.

Luna shook her head. Her dress was a little disarrayed, but it made her look better if anything. She seemed to be slowly coming down from a high. ‘Stay here for tonight, then?’ I asked. ‘I think there’s a camp bed somewhere.’

‘I think I should go.’

I looked at her, puzzled. Luna nodded down at my chest. ‘Look.’

I stared for a moment before realising. In the excitement, I’d forgotten about Arachne’s ribbon. I looked down to see that almost all of the white ribbon had turned black. Only an inch or so was left.

‘I think my coach is turning back into a pumpkin,’ Luna said, and I looked up in surprise to see one of her rare smiles. Somehow, though, this one seemed sad. ‘It’s okay. You said they can’t find me now, right? I’ll find a place to stay.’ She moved to the door.

‘Luna, wait!’ I followed. ‘They can’t find you with magic, but they can still look. It’s not going to be—’

Luna turned and stepped into my arms, laying her head against my chest, one hand holding gently onto my coat. I stopped in surprise, looking down at her. ‘Thank you for tonight,’ Luna said. Her body was cool, and she smelt of clouds and wind. ‘It was worth it.’

I started to put an arm around her. ‘Luna—’

‘It’s midnight,’ Luna said softly, and slipped away, hiding her face. Before I could react the door opened and closed, and I was alone. I heard her footsteps fading outside.

I stood there for a long time, then walked back to my desk and sat down. I untied the ribbon from my belt and held it up in front of me. Almost all of it had turned to black and, as I watched, the very last corner faded and darkened. The ribbon flickered once, then crumbled to dust between my fingers. In a second there was nothing left but a trace of black powder.

I sat looking at it for a long time, then went upstairs to bed.

8

I came awake into darkness. My chest hurt, everything was black and the screams were still ringing in my ears. As I lay tense, my heart pounding, I realised it had been a dream. My flat was silent. I lay there for a few minutes, letting my breathing slow until my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, then I rose and walked on bare feet to the window. Same old nightmares.

Once I was leaning out the window, taking deep breaths of the night air, I felt better. Being enclosed always reminds me of that time and I’ve learnt that an open sky is the best way to throw it off. I’ve always liked looking out of my window at night; something about the density, all those thousands of pinpoints and every one a person or a family. I could tell from the murmur that it was about four o’clock in the morning. Camden is never silent, but this is the quietest it gets. I could hear the sounds of distant music filtering through the bridges and over the canal, but my street was still.

I don’t have many scars. Dark mages are quite skilled with methods of torture that don’t cause permanent physical damage. My chest still hurt though – a phantom pain. I rubbed at it until it faded and leant on the window-sill, looking out into the night. A three-quarter moon was high in the sky, casting London in a pale light that reflected off the rooftops.

For some reason, instead of Luna, I found myself thinking of the woman we’d left behind, Deleo. I was sure she was someone from my past – probably from my time with Richard. It’s hard to remember someone just from the sound of their voice, but I’ve got access to ways of looking that normal people don’t. I was pretty sure I could figure out who she was if I wanted to.

Except I didn’t. Yes, Deleo was after me. Yes, I could probably protect myself better if I knew who she was. But even that wasn’t enough to make me willingly take myself back to that place in my memory. My time with Richard is a place I’ve locked up in my mind; I don’t think about it and I don’t go back to it. Instead I ran through a brief exercise to clear my head then, when I was calm again, returned to bed and fell asleep quickly.