Flowers for Algernon

June 21 I’ve added time sequences of increasing complexity to the three-dimensional maze, and Algernon learns them easily. There is no need to motivate him with food or water. He appears to learn for the sake of solving the problem-success appears to be its own reward. But, as Burt pointed out at the convention, his behavior is erratic. Sometimes after, or even during a run, he will rage, throw himself against the walls of the maze, or curl up and refuse to work at all. Frustration? Or something deeper? 131 5: 30 P. M.-That crazy Fay came in through the fire escape this afternoon with a female white mouse-about half Algernon’s size-to keep him company, she said, on these lonely summer nights. She quickly overcame all my objections and convinced me that it would do Algernon good to have companionship. After I assured myself that little “Minnie” was of sound health and good moral character, I agreed. I was curious to see what he would do when confronted with a female. But once we had put Minnie into Algernon’s cage, Fay grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.

“Where’s your sense of romance?” she insisted. She turned on the radio, and advanced toward me menacingly. “I’m going to teach you the latest steps.” How can you get annoyed at a girl like Fay? At any rate, I’m glad that Algernon is no longer alone.

June 23 Late last night the sound of laughter in the hallway and a tapping on my door. It was Fay and a man.

“Hi, Charlie,” she giggled as she saw me. “Leroy, meet Charlie. He’s my across-the-hall neighbor. A wonderful artist. He does sculpture with a living element.”

Leroy caught hold of her and kept her from bumping into the wall. He looked at me nervously and mumbled a greeting.

“Met Leroy at the Stardust Ballroom,” she explained. “He’s a terrific dancer.” She started into her apartment and then pulled him back. “Hey,” she giggled, “why don’t we invite Charlie over for a drink and make it a party?” Leroy didn’t think it was a good idea.

I managed an apology and pulled away. Behind my closed door, I heard them laughing their way into her apartment, and though I tried to read, the pictures kept forcing their way into my mind: a big white bed… white cool sheets and the two of them in each other’s arms. I wanted to phone Alice, but I didn’t. Why torment myself? I couldn’t even visualize Alice’s face. I could piotare Fay, dressed or undressed, at will, with her crisp blue eyes and her blonde hair braided and coiled around her head like a crown. Fay was clear, ’but Alice was wrapped in mist .132 About an hour later I heard shouting from Fay’s apartment, then her scream and the sound of things being thrown, but as I started out of bed to see if she needed help, I heard the door slam Leroy cursing as he left. Then, a few minutes afterward, I heard a tapping on my living room window. It was open, and Fay slipped in and sat on the ledge, a black silk kimono revealing lovely legs. “Hi,” she whispered, “got a cigareet?”

I handed her one and she slipped down from the window ledge to the couch. “Whew!” she sighed, “I can usually take care of myself, but there’s one type that’s so hungry it’s all you can do to hold them off.”

“Oh,” I said, “you brought him up here to hold him off.” She caught my tone and looked up sharply. “You don’t approve?”

“Who am I to disapprove? But if you pick up a guy in a public dance hall you’ve got to expect advances. He had the right to make a pass at you.” She shook her head. “I go to the Stardust Ballroom because I like to dance, and I don’t see that because I let a guy bring me home I’ve got to go to bed with him. You don’t think I went to bed with him, do you?” My image of the two of them in each other’s arms popped like soap bubbles. “Now if you were the guy,” she said, “it would be different.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Just what it sounds like. If you asked me, I’d go to bed with you.” I tried to keep my composure. “Thanks,” I said. “I’ll keep that in mind. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”

“Charlie, I can’t figure you out. Most men like me or not, and I know it right away. But you seem afraid of me. You’re not a homosexual, are you?”

“Hell, not”

“I mean you don’t have to hide it from me if you are, because then we could be just good friends. But I’d have to know.”

“I’m not a homosexual. Tonight, when you went into your place with that guy, I wished it was me.”

She leaned forward and the kimono open at the neck revealed her bosom. She slipped her arms around me, waiting for me to do something. I knew what was expected of me, and I told myself there was no reason not to. I had the feeling there would be no panic now-not with her. After all, I wasn’t the one making the advances. And she was different from any woman I’d ever met before. Perhaps she was right for me at this emotional level. I slipped my arms around her.

“That’s different,” she cooed. “I was beginning to think you didn’t care.”