Flowers for Algernon

That’s when I saw Charlie watching me from the mirror behind the washbasin. I don’t know how I knew it was Charlie and not me. Something about the dull, questioning look in his face. His eyes, wide and frightened, as 174 if at one word from me he would turn and run deep into the dimension of the mirrored world. But he didn’t run. He just stared back at me, mouth open, jaw hanging loosely.

“Hello,” I said, “so you’ve finally come face to face with me.” He frowned, just a bit, as if he didn’t understand what I meant, as if he wanted an explanation but didn’t know how to ask for it. Then, giving it up, he smiled wryly from the corner of his mouth.

“Stay there right in front of me,” I shouted. “I’m sick and tired of your spying on me from doorways and dark places where I can’t catch up with you.” He stared.

“Who are you, Charlie?” Nothing but the smile. I nodded and he nodded back. “Then what do you want?” I asked. He shrugged.

“Oh, come now,” I said, “you must want something. You’ve been following me—” He looked down and I looked at my hands to see what he was looking at. “You want these back, don’t you? You want me out of here so you can come back and take over where you left off. I don’t blame you. It’s your body and your brain-and your life, even though you weren’t able to make much use of it. I don’t have the right to take it away from you. Nobody does. Who’s to say that my light is better than your darkness? Who’s to say death is better than your darkness? Who am I to say?.

“But I’ll tell you something else, Charlie.” I stood up and backed away from the mirror. “I’m not your friend. I’m your enemy. I’m not going to give up my intelligence without a struggle. I can’t go back down into that cave. There’s no place for me to go now, Charlie. So you’ve got to stay away. Stay inside my unconscious where you belong, and stop following me around. I’m not going to give up-no matter what they all think. No matter how lonely it is. I’m going to keep what they’ve given me and do great things for the world and for other people like you.” As I turned toward the door, I had the impression he was reaching out his hand toward me. But the whole damned thing was foolish. I was just drunk and that was my own reflection in the mirror. When I came out, Strauss wanted to put me into a taxi, but I insisted I could get home all right. All I needed was a little fresh air, and I didn’t want anyone to come with me. I wanted to walk by myself. I was seeing myself as I really had become: Nemur had said it. I was an arrogant, self-centered bastard. Unlike Charlie, I was incapable of making friends or thinking about other people and their problems. I was interested in myself, and myself only. For one long moment in that mirror I had seen myself through Charlie’s eyeslooked down at myself and saw what I had really become. And I was ashamed.

Hours later I found myself in front of the apartment house, and made my way upstairs and through the dimly lit hallway. Passing Fay’s room, I could see there was a light on, and I started toward her door. But just as I was about to knock I heard her giggling, and a man’s answering laugh. It was too late for that.

I let myself into my apartment quietly and stood there for a while in the dark, not daring to move, not daring to turn on the light. Just stood there and felt the whirlpool in my eyes. What has happened to me? Why am I so alone in the world?

4: 30 A. M.-The solution came to me, just as I was dozing off. Illuminated! Everything fits together, and I see what I should have known from the beginning. No more sleep. I’ve got to get back to the lab and test this against the results from the computer. This, finally, is the flaw in the experiment. I’ve found it. Now what becomes of me?

August 26-LETTER TO PROFESSOR NEMUR (COPY) Dear Professor Nemur: Under separate cover 1 am sending you a copy of my report entitled: “The Algernon-Gordon Effect: A Study of Structure and Function of Increased Intelligence,” which may be published if you see fit .176 As you know, my experiments are completed .1 have included in my report all of my formulas, as well as mathematical analyses of the data in the appendix. Of course, these should be verified.

The results are clear. The more sensational aspects of my rapid climb cannot obscure the facts. The surgeryand-injection techniques developed by you and Dr. Strauss must be viewed as having little or no practical applicability, at the present time, to the increase of human intelligence. Reviewing the data on Algernon: although he is still in his physical youth, he has regressed mentally. Motor activity impaired; general reduction of glandular functioning; accelerated loss of coordination; and strong indications of progressive amnesia.