Frog

GAO MENGJIU: (picks up the shoe and bangs it on the table) Oh my, oh my… What a nuisance! (sings) Magistrate Gao is in his hall to try a case: two families, Zhang and Wang, have a dispute over land. Zhang is in the right, and so is Wang. Both families have a claim, and I must settle the dispute. My name is Gao Mengjiu from Weibaodi county in the Tianjin municipality. I joined the army in my youth under Field Marshal Feng Yuxiang, performing outstanding service in battles north and south. Marshal Feng selected me to be his guard battalion commander. One day, Marshal Feng spotted a soldier under my command parading around town in dark glasses, a prostitute on his arm, and censured me for lax discipline. I was so embarrassed at having fallen short of the marshal’s expectations that I tendered my resignation and returned to my native home. In the nineteenth year of the Republic, 1930, Gao’s fellow townsman Han Fuju, Governor of Shandong, respectfully and repeatedly invited me to take up an official position. I could not refuse the request of a fellow officer, so was sent to Shandong, first as a provincial representative, then as head of Pingyuan, Qufu, and, as of this spring, Gaomi counties. The people here are cunning and stubborn, crime is rampant, gambling is ubiquitous, opium is a scourge, and public order is non-existent. After taking office, I boldly instituted reforms, stamped out criminal activity, promoted filial behaviour, and travelled incognito, resolving difficult cases. (softly) Of course, not everything went smoothly, as is always the case for one who is not a sage. And even sages make mistakes from time to time. The local gentry families presented me with a pair of scrolls, with ‘Wind, then rain, then the blue sky’ on one and ‘The civil, the martial, and the barbaric’ on the other. Well written. Extremely well! They also came up with a nickname for me: Gao the Second with Shoe-soles. The origin of this moniker came from my proclivity to use the soles of shoes across the faces of criminals and harridans. (sings) In troubled times an official must employ severe punishments/Answering brutality with brutality/Use clever schemes to exterminate bandits/A shoe sole is the tool of an upright magistrate. I say, all you clerks —

YAMEN CLERKS: Yes, sir!

GAO MENGJIU: Is all in readiness?

YAMEN CLERKS: It is.

GAO MENGJIU: Call for the plaintiffs and defendants.

Chen Mei, baby in her arms, stumbles onto the stage.

CHEN MEI: Magistrate Bao, please help me gain justice.

Little Lion, Tadpole, and the others enter, one after the other.

The actors playing Zhang and Wang are among the crowd as they enter.

DIRECTOR: (frustrated) Cut! Cut! What’s going on here? This is a mess. Where’s the stage manager?

CHEN MEI: (falls to her knees at the front of the stage) Magistrate Bao, please help me gain justice!

GAO MENGJIU: My name is Gao, not Bao.

CHEN MEI: (amid the sound of the baby’s cries) Magistrate Bao, I lay an odd grievance at your feet for impartial justice.

Yuan Sai and the cousin take the director aside and say something to him that others cannot hear. The director nods his head. Yuan’s comment to the director can barely be heard: Our company will donate a hundred thousand.

The director walks up to Gao Mengjiu and whispers something to him.

The director signals to the cameraman and others to continue filming.

Yuan Sai walks up to Tadpole and Little Lion and speaks to them in hushed tones.

GAO MENGJIU: (picks up the shoe and bangs it on the table) Citizen at the front of this hall, hear me. I will today be extraordinarily generous by deciding an additional case. Tell me your name, your residency, what charges you bring, against whom, all in complete truth. If I hear one false note, do you know how I will deal with it?

CHEN MEI: I do not.

YAMEN CLERKS: (in unison) Woo-wei!

GAO MENGJIU: (takes hold of the shoe and bangs it on the table) If there is one dishonest word, I will use this shoe on your face.

CHEN MEI: Now I know.

GAO MENGJIU: Tell me everything.