Frog

That Wang Jiao, Mother said, is pretty good at faking things.

Pretty good? Gugu railed. He’s a master of the art. He takes the money he extracted from me to the market to feast on braised meat and strong liquor until he’s drunk, at which time his back is straight and he zips around the market. Tell me why I’ve bumped into scoundrels like that all my life. Then there’s that bastard Xiao Shangchun, who damn near killed me during the Cultural Revolution, and now struts around like a lord and master, waving his palm-leaf fan as he enjoys the good life at home. I hear his son has tested into college. Is that right? What happened to the old saying that ‘good is rewarded with good, evil with evil’? The good people suffer, the rotten eggs live like kings, that’s what. People still get what’s coming to them, Mother said. It just takes time. How much time? Gugu asked her. My hair has already turned white!

After Gugu left, Mother said, Your aunt has not had an easy life. Someone said Yang Lin came to see her after what happened, I said. That’s what she told me, Mother confirmed. By then he’d been promoted to the position of district commissioner, and arrived in a chauffeured sedan. He apologised to your aunt and told her he was willing to marry her to make up for his behaviour during the Cultural Revolution. Your aunt sent him away.

As we were sighing over Gugu’s misfortunes, Wang Renmei came barging in the door. Aunty, she said to Mother, I hear that your Xiaopao is searching high and low for a wife. How about me?

I thought you were spoken for, young lady.

I broke it off, she said. He’s a latter-day Chen Shimei, the storybook character who deserted his wife when he became a high official.

Mother said, How could he drop you just because he’s going to college?

He didn’t drop me, Renmei said, I dropped him. So he’s going to college. What’s the big deal? Firecrackers, movies, I’ve never seen such insolence! Xiaopao’s better than that. He’s an army officer without having to blow his own horn. As soon as he came home, he went into the field to work.

You’re too good for Xiaopao, young lady, Mother said.

I guess we’re going to have to ask Xiaopao what he thinks, Aunty. Xiaopao, what do you say — I’ll be your wife and present you with a champion athlete son.

You’re on! I said, gazing at her legs.

2

The weather was bleak on my wedding day. Dark clouds gathered as thunder rumbled. When the thunder ended, a downpour followed.

Yuan Sai said he’d picked a fine, auspicious day for you to get married, Mother complained, but what we got was flooded streets.

At ten o’clock Wang Renmei arrived during a cloudburst in the company of two female cousins. In their raingear they looked like dike control volunteers. A plastic tent with a stove inside had been thrown up in our yard. I was on my haunches stoking a fire with a bellows to boil water. My cousin Wuguan (Facial Features), who was known for speaking his mind, said: What’s a hero of the self-defence-counterattack conflict doing crouched down by a stove to heat water when his bride-to-be has arrived? Then come take my place, I said. No, your mother put me in charge of the firecrackers, which will require all my skills in this rain-squall. Wuguan, Mother called from the doorway, stop the idle chatter. It’s time for the firecrackers. He reached under his coat and removed a string of firecrackers wrapped in plastic. After he lit the fuse, he held the string in his hand — no pole for him — opened an umbrella, and leaned out into the rain to set them off. The pounding water kept the gunpowder residue from spreading beyond him. Wuguan, kids cried out as they clapped their hands and stomped their feet, all soaked to the skin, Wuguan, you’re turning green! What are those pathetic excuses for children shouting? Mother remarked.

This is how it was supposed to happen: the bride was to say nothing as she entered the house and went straight to the wedding chamber, where she sat on the kang to wait, what’s known as ‘sitting in bed’. But Wang Renmei stopped as soon as she was in the yard to watch Wuguan do his thing. His face was blackened by the firecracker residue, as if he’d stepped out from a stove. That made her laugh. She ignored the tugs on her sleeves by the bridesmaids. Her high-heeled plastic shoes made her taller than ever, tall and straight as a tree. Wuguan looked her up and down. Anyone who wants to kiss you, good Sister-in-law, will have to stand on a ladder! he quipped. Be quiet, Wuguan, Mother demanded. You’re a moron, Wuguan, Wang Renmei said. Wang Dan and Chen Bi don’t need a ladder when they kiss! Hearing the bride trading quips with her soon-to-be brother-in-law in the yard had the older women whispering among themselves. I emerged from the tent with my coal shovel. Our hero has emerged! the clapping, stomping kids cried out. Here’s our hero!