Give Me Five

Because, Lilly, the Bio sub caught Shameeka and me passing notes and assigned us both a 250-word paper on ice-worms.

So? You should look at it as an artistic challenge. Besides, 250 words is nothing for an ace journalist like yourself. You should be able to knock that out in half an hour.

Lilly, has your brother mentioned the prom to you?

Um. What?

Prom. You know. Senior Prom. The one they are holding at Maxim's a week from this Saturday. Has he mentioned

to you whether or not he's, um, planning on asking anyone?

ANYONE? Just who do you mean by ANYONE? His DOG?

You know what I mean.

Michael does not discuss things like the prom with me, Mia. Mainly what Michael discusses with me is whether or not it is my turn to empty the dishwasher, set the table, or take the wadded-up tissues down the

hall to the incinerator chute after Mom and Dad's Adult Survivors of Childhood Alien Abduction group therapy meetings.

Oh. Well, I was just wondering.

Don't worry, Mia. If Michael's going to ask anyone to the prom, it will be you.

What do you mean IF Michael's going to ask anyone to the prom?

I meant WHEN. OK? What is WITH you?

Nothing. Only that Michael is my one true love and he's graduating and so if we don't go to the prom this year I'll

never get to go. Unless we go when I'M a senior, but that won't be for THREE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!

And besides, by that time Michael might be in graduate school. He might have a beard or something!!!!! You can't

go to the prom with someone who has a BEARD.

/ can see that you're very emotional about this. Are you premenstrual or something?

NO!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE PROM WITH MY BOYFRIEND BEFORE HE GRADUATES AND/OR GROWS EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF FACIAL HAIR!!!!!!!!! IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT??????

Whoa. You fully need to take a Midol. And rather than asking me whether or not I think my brother is going

to ask you to the prom, I think you should ask YOURSELF something, and that's why a completely outdated, pagan dance ritual is so important to you.

It's just important to me, OK????

Is this because of that time your mom wouldn't buy you the Prom Queen Glamour Gown for your Barbie,

and you had to make your own out of toilet paper?

HELLO!!!! Lilly, I would think that you might have noticed that the prom plays a key role in the socialization process

of the adolescent. I mean, look at all the movies that have been made about it:

Movies That Feature The Prom AsProminent Plot Device

by Mia Thermopolis

Pretty in Pink: Will Molly Ringwald go to the prom with the cute rich boy or the poor weird boy? Whichever one she

goes with, does she really think he's going to like that hideous pink potato sack of a dress she makes?

Ten Things I Hate About You: Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger. Was there ever a more perfect couple? I think not. It just takes the prom to prove it to them.

Valley Girl: Nicholas Cage's first starring role in a movie ever, and he plays a punk rocker who crashes a suburban mall

rat's prom. Who will she ride home with in the limo, the guy with the Members Only jacket, or the guy with the Mohawk? What happens at the prom will decide it.

Footloose: Who can forget Kevin Bacon in the immortal role of Ren, convincing the kids in the town with the no-dancing ordinance to rent a place outside of city limits so they can assert their independence by tripping the light fantastique to

Kenny Loggins?

She's All That: Rachael Leigh Cook has to go to the prom in order to prove that she is not as big a nerd as everyone