Happy Birthday: A Novel

He had made a reservation for them at the Carlyle, for their honeymoon. They were only staying one night. It was all he could afford, but he wanted it to be perfect for her. He had gone to see the room himself. And he never mentioned that the bride was nine months pregnant. He just hoped they wouldn’t be spending the night at the hospital instead. It could happen. The doctor said she was ready, and she was having a lot of contractions. He kept begging her to go easy on the construction work, but as usual, she wouldn’t listen. She carried lumber, used the crowbar, took things to the Dumpster. She even moved some bricks around. April was a workhorse who had no idea how not to be. Mike accepted that about her now.

She talked to her mother the day before the wedding and realized that Valerie was sad.

“Are you okay, Mom?” she asked her, sounding concerned.

“I’m fine, sweetheart, just busy.” She sounded depressed much more than busy. April mentioned it later that night to Mike.

“I wonder if everything’s okay with her and Jack.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” The last time he had seen them, they had looked like newlyweds themselves.

“You never know,” April said wisely.

Miraculously, April had found a dress that fit her for the wedding. She and Ellen had gone shopping and had found it at Barney’s. It was a wide white silk swing dress with a halter top that showed off her shoulders. It was the only part of her now that didn’t look ready to explode. The dress was short, and she was going to wear high-heeled sandals with it, and carry lily of the valley that her mother had had flown in from Paris. It was hardly a traditional wedding dress, but it was perfect for what she needed. And Pat was giving her away. Ellen was her matron of honor, her sisters were her bridesmaids, and Maddie had found matching sky-blue linen dresses for them, to save April the trouble, and she was grateful for her stepmother’s help. Her mother was doing all white flowers in the apartment, orchids, roses, and more lily of the valley.

By Friday night, everything was set up in Valerie’s apartment, and she was staying at Jack’s, as she had all week. There was too much activity in her own, and Dawn was staying there to help set up the wedding. All the guests had accepted, except two of the waiters who had to attend family events of their own. Everyone else was coming, including Mike’s editor, Jim and his wife and kids, and Mike’s other friend from the paper. He had asked Jack to be best man, which touched him, since Mike had no real family of his own whom he still saw.

The night before the wedding, Valerie noticed that Jack looked peaceful, and she had an eerie feeling, as though he had decided to let go of her, and continue on his own. There was a bittersweet quality to the way he looked at her, and she felt waves of panic engulf her, but she said nothing to him. She owed him that because she loved him. She was going to be brave about it, she promised herself, if he left her. Maybe he had decided not to try a long-distance relationship after all, and just end it between them when he moved away. She said nothing to him, but cried in the bathroom alone that night, and then put a good face on when she joined him in bed and they made love. Every time now she worried that it would be the last time. It was going to be hard to lose someone she loved so much, but she kept reminding herself that she’d live through it. She had no other choice.

And in their bed next to the crib that night, Mike and April were talking about their wedding. She knew that traditionally, they weren’t supposed to see each other the morning of the wedding, but they had nowhere else to go. Her mother was at Jack’s, her apartment was all set up for the wedding, there was no room for her at her father’s, and Mike wanted to be with her, and didn’t want to go to a hotel alone. So they were at his place, in bed, whispering in the moonlight on their wedding eve.

“Are you scared?” she whispered. They were like two little kids giggling in the dark.

“Kind of,” he acknowledged. It was easier to say in the darkness, although he was willing to admit it to her.

“Me too. I’m more scared of having the baby than about what happens after that. What if it hurts too much and I can’t stand it?” She was frightened of that now. What if she went nuts from the pain or totally lost it in front of Mike? It would be embarrassing to have him see that.

“We’ll get you lots of drugs,” he promised. “Other women seem to get through it.” He hoped it wouldn’t be bad for her. He had been terrified when she’d been in the hospital after the fire, and he was dreading the pain she’d have to face now. They both were.