Happy Birthday: A Novel

“How can a baby need so much stuff?” She didn’t tell him that friends were going to drop off the rest of what they needed in the next few weeks, a sterilizer, pajamas, diapers, a stroller Ellen was lending her, a high chair from one of the waitresses, a car seat one of the busboys didn’t need, and things she didn’t even know about yet and had no idea how to use. And Ellen had told her she’d need a plastic tub with a sponge insert to bathe the baby. April hadn’t thought of that. Mike sat down on the couch staring at the toy box, and feeling sick.

“I’m sorry.” April looked at him apologetically. “I know it’s a mess. We’ll be back at my place soon.” In a single afternoon, the baby had moved in. For the first time, he felt the way he had after the sonogram, and he looked it, which worried April more than a little.

“We can’t live like this. For chrissake, April, the baby will weigh five or six pounds. Why does it need all this furniture?” Her mother had bought what she would have for a magazine layout, and it was lovely stuff, but it had taken over Mike’s postage-stamp-sized apartment, and was a warning to him that this seemingly tiny being was about to take over his life, in ways he hadn’t understood till now, even in his panic.

“Why don’t we put the crib together? And then the bedroom won’t look so crowded,” April suggested. As it was now, they couldn’t even go to bed that night until they assembled the crib, because the bumpers and mattress and a white eyelet canopy were lying on their bed. “I’ll help you.”

“Do you realize that I have no mechanical skills?” he said miserably. “I don’t know a screwdriver from a hammer and I can never read instructions. Whenever I get something that has to be assembled, I wind up throwing it out. I can never figure out what to do with the nuts and bolts. You need an engineering degree to put this shit together.”

“We’ll figure it out,” she said soothingly. “We’ll do it together.”

“I need a drink,” he announced, and went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine. “What’s that thing?” he asked, pointing at the changing table as he came back into the room. He looked extremely crabby and completely panicked.

“It’s to change the baby on,” she said, embarrassed.

“Why can’t you change the baby on your lap, or on the floor or something? Do you realize the Olympic equestrian team doesn’t use this much equipment?” April herself was living out of one small bag, and had three dresses in his closet. All she wore now were jeans, T-shirts, and rubber boots.

April went into the bedroom then to get started on the crib. She tore the cardboard away, looked at the instructions, and realized that Mike was right. Putting it together was more complicated than it appeared, and Mike came in a few minutes later and set down his glass of wine. He didn’t mention the rocking chair or the mess in the room. He just walked over to her and put his arms around her as she wrestled with the boxes.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t prepared for this. And neither were you. You’ve got enough on your mind with the restaurant. You don’t need me making it worse.” He knew she had met with insurance adjusters the day before, and they had been a pain in the neck. “Give me the instructions,” he said, looking at them, and then went to get his tools.

It took them two hours of hit and miss, and several false starts, but they finally got it together. The mattress was in, the bumpers were attached, with little lambs on them, and the canopy was even on the crib. They both looked as though they’d run a marathon as they collapsed next to each other on the bed.

“Childbirth must be a snap compared to this,” he remarked, and then was sorry the minute he said it. He looked at her mournfully, missing the restaurant for exactly the reason he had written about in his review. “I need comfort food,” he said unhappily. April smiled at him and got off the bed.

“That’s the easy part,” she said, as she kissed him and left. Mike lay in bed watching TV, and fifteen minutes later she appeared in the doorway. “We may not have the restaurant. But you have me. Monsieur est servi,” she said, bowing as low as she could given the beachball at her middle.

He followed her into the living room where she had set the small round table they ate on, and a stack of her delicious pancakes were on a plate with warm maple syrup beside it. She had even made a plate of them for herself—the menu sounded good to her too.

“Ohmigod,” he said, like a man dying of thirst in the desert. “That’s just what I needed.” He sat down without another word and devoured them, and then sat back in his chair with a profoundly satisfied look. “Thank you,” he said, looking peaceful finally. “Maybe everything will be okay.” And then he shook his head as he looked around. “I had no idea babies needed all this stuff.”

“Neither did I,” she said honestly. Neither of them had thought about it, they were too busy dealing with everything else.