Heads You Win

“To George Soros, who I’m sure you’ll agree knows a damn sight more about banking and investments than either of us.”

“Indeed he does,” said Ackroyd. “But how, may I ask, did you happen to bump into the great man?”

“I met him two weeks ago in Monte Carlo. A happy coincidence, don’t you think?”

“No, I do not think it was a happy coincidence, Evelyn. It was a well-planned set-up, and you fell for it.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because two weeks ago George Soros was in Davos, giving a lecture on the Exchange Rate Mechanism. I know, because I was sitting in the audience.”

Evelyn’s legs gave way and she collapsed into the nearest chair. She was silent for some time before saying, “So what do I do now?”

“Accept the bank’s offer of six hundred million dollars before they change their mind.”

*   *   *

“Mrs. Lowell-Halliday has accepted the bank’s offer of six hundred million dollars for her shares,” said the company secretary. “But I’ll need the board’s approval before I can sign off on it.”

“But that was when she owned fifty percent of the bank’s stock,” said Jake. “Thanks to Bob’s brilliant coup, she now only has forty-nine percent, and we’re in control.”

“Offer her three hundred million,” said Alex, “and settle for four.”

“Do you think she’ll agree to that?” asked Mitch Blake.

“Without a doubt,” said Alex. “Ackroyd will advise her that she won’t get a better offer anywhere else, and if she agrees, the good news is that the bank will end up not having to pay her a penny.”

“How come?” said Alan Gates.

“Simple really, but perhaps the time has come for Jake to tell the board a little more about the ace that we’ve always had up our sleeve.”

Jake opened a file and turned several pages before he came to the signed agreement. “Mrs. Lowell-Halliday took out several loans over the years when her brother, Lawrence, was chairman of the bank. Ackroyd, as CEO, approved the transactions, and in order to give the deal some legitimacy, Evelyn agreed to pay an interest rate of five percent per annum until the loans were repaid. Unfortunately for her, but fortunately for the bank, she hasn’t returned one red cent, but then, she never intended to.” Jake turned a page before he continued. “The result is that after more than twenty years of debt and accumulated interest, she currently owes the bank just over four hundred and fifty-one million dollars.” Jake closed the file. A long silence was followed by a round of applause.

“But she will still owe the bank over fifty million,” said Bob, “even if she accepts the offer.”

“Which we will agree to write off in exchange for her forty-nine percent shareholding in the bank,” said Jake.

“Bravo,” said Alex, before looking around the boardroom table. “However, I still can’t wait to hear the details of how Bob managed to make it all possible?”

The rest of the directors turned their attention to the longest-serving member of the board, who no longer had a shock of white hair.

“A gentleman should never be indiscreet where a lady is concerned,” said Bob, “but I can report to the board that Mrs. Evelyn Lowell-Halliday doesn’t know the difference between being laid and being screwed. By the way, chairman, can I now resign?”

44

SASHA

London, 1999

“Does the right honorable gentleman plan to visit his other constituency in the near future?”

Sasha smiled, while some laughed at the gibe, but then he had his answer well prepared.

“I can tell the right honorable member that I have no plans to visit Russia in the near future. But I am looking forward to seeing the opening night of Swan Lake at the Royal Opera House, danced by the Bolshoi Ballet.” He was about to add, the greatest ballet company on earth, but thought better of it.

“Mr. Kenneth Clarke,” said the Speaker.

“When the right honorable gentleman does next visit Moscow, could he point out to President Yeltsin that for a nation now posturing as a democracy, his country’s human rights record leaves much to be desired.”

This time the hear, hears were loud, and not in jest.

Sasha rose again. “If the right honorable gentleman would be kind enough to bring to my attention any particular examples he has in mind, be assured I will look into them. However, members of the House may be interested to know that Mr. Boris Nemtsov, a former vice premier of Russia, is sitting in the Distinguished Strangers’ Gallery, and I’m sure he will have heard the honorable gentleman’s question.”

Sasha glanced up at the gallery and smiled at his friend, who seemed amused by his moment of notoriety.

When questions to the Foreign Secretary came to an end and the Speaker called for the business of the day, Sasha quickly left the chamber and made his way to the Central Lobby, where he had arranged to meet up with Nemtsov.

“Welcome to Westminster, Boris,” he said as he shook his guest warmly by the hand.