Heads You Win

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Sasha began almost in a whisper. “My name is Sasha Karpenko. I was born in Leningrad, where I spent the first sixteen years of my life, until the communists murdered my father.” For the first time, a silence fell upon the assembled gathering, and every eye in the room remained fixed on Sasha. “His crime,” he continued, “was to want to form a trade union so that his fellow dockworkers could enjoy rights that you in Britain take for granted. That is one of the privileges of living in a democracy. As Winston Churchill reminded us, Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others. I refuse to apologize for not having been born in this country, but I am grateful to have escaped the tyranny of Communism, and be allowed to attend this debate, a debate that could never take place in Russia. Because if it had, Mr. Wedgwood Benn would have been shot and Mr. Tariq Ali sent to the salt mines in Siberia.”

A few roars of hear, hear, good idea, were followed by raucous laughter. Sasha waited for silence to return before he continued. “You may laugh, but if we were in the Soviet Union, everyone who spoke in favor of this motion tonight would have been arrested, and every student who even attended the debate would have been expelled and sent to work in the docks. I know, because that’s what happened to me.” Sasha was quite unaware of the effect his words were having on his fellow students.

“My mother and I were able to escape from that totalitarian state, and were fortunate enough to end up in England, where we were welcomed as refugees. But I must tell this house, I would return to the Soviet Union tomorrow to fight that despotic regime, and be willing to die if I thought there was the slightest chance that the communists could be driven out and replaced by a democratic state in which every one of my countrymen would have a vote.”

The cheer that followed gave Sasha a chance to gather his thoughts. Only when he had complete silence did he continue. “It’s been fun to debate this motion without fear or favor, to have a vote, and then be allowed to join your friends in the bar. But had I made this speech in my country, I would have ended up behind bars, and spent many years, perhaps the rest of my life, in a labor camp. I beg you to defeat this motion, because supporting it will only give succor to those evil despots around the world who consider dictatorship a better system than democracy, just as long as they’re the dictator. Let us send a message from this house tonight, that we would rather die in defense of our country and its values than be subjected to tyranny.”

As Sasha made his way back to his place, the whole house rose to acknowledge him. He was touched to see both Mr. Wedgwood Benn and Mr. Ali on their feet joining in the ovation. When everyone had finally settled, the president stood again and invited the house to divide and cast their votes.

Twenty minutes later, the vice president rose from his place and declared that the motion had been defeated by 312 votes to 297. Sasha was immediately surrounded by a throng of students, congratulating him and wanting to shake his hand, while Ben sat back and basked in his triumph. A member of the committee leaned across and whispered in his ear. “The president wondered if you and your friend would care to join him for a drink in the committee room.”

“You bet,” said Ben, who led Sasha out of the hall and up a wide staircase to join the presidential party.

The first person to walk across and congratulate him was Mr. Wedgwood Benn.

“A magnificent contribution,” he said. “I can only hope you’re considering a career in politics. You have a lot to offer.”

“But I might not sit on your side of the house, sir,” said Sasha.

“Then I would consider you a worthy opponent, sir.”

Sasha was about to respond when they were joined by a young woman who also wanted to offer her congratulations.

“This is Fiona,” said Ben. “The only woman on the Union committee.”

Sasha was impressed, not only with the achievement, but also by her radiant beauty, which didn’t require any announcement.

“I’m surprised we haven’t seen you before, Sasha,” she said, touching his arm.

“He rarely abandons his books to join us lesser mortals,” said Ben, who didn’t notice that Sasha couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“I was hoping to be able to convince you to join CUCA.”

“CUCA?” repeated Sasha.

“The University Conservative club,” said Ben. “It was Fiona who recruited me.”

*   *   *

“I hear your speech at the Union went down rather well,” said Streator, moving a rook to protect his queen.

“The British are such a civilized people,” said Sasha, as he studied the board. “They allow anyone to express their views, however ridiculous or ill-informed they might be. I’m sure it won’t come as a surprise to you, sir, that we didn’t have a debating society at my school in Leningrad.”