Hello Beautiful

“I want you to go there and show those people what they’ve been missing,” Rhoan said. “They’re your family. Don’t be afraid to tell them off if necessary. But don’t be afraid to smile either.”

Alice walked through the airport, wearing her gray backpack. She followed the instructions of the flight attendants while boarding the plane and closed her eyes for the duration of the flight. She couldn’t bear for anyone to speak to her, even to offer a beverage. Alice squeezed the armrests and was aware of every bounce of the plane, every small disruption of the air and space she occupied.

At O’Hare, a giant, labyrinthine airport with cathedral-like glass ceilings, Alice waited in the taxi queue and then gave the driver the address for the Bulls practice facility in downtown Chicago. She tried to pay attention to the city as the car crossed the river and entered a thicket of tall buildings. Elevated trains rattled above the car. There didn’t seem to be as many people on the sidewalks as in New York. She’d hoped to see murals, maybe even Cecelia’s, but in this part of the city, the walls were blank.

Alice thought, This is where my mother grew up. This is where I’ll meet my father. She felt alone almost as a physical sensation: Her skin tingled as if she hadn’t been touched in days. She found that she could barely remember the sound of her mother’s voice, and this panicked her. Being here made Alice feel like she’d left Julia behind in some way that was important and permanent. She texted her mother for the first time since the night in the Greek restaurant: A shadow represents either the blocking out of light or the other half of a person. When a character loses their shadow, they’ve lost a part of themselves and have to search to get it back.

The taxi came to a stop. Alice paid and climbed out of the car. She knew she couldn’t stand still or allow herself to think. She pulled open the glass door in front of her and walked into a large foyer. She could hear the thumping of basketballs in the distance, and there were a few extremely tall men sitting on couches in the corner, their knees raised high. An older man with a whistle around his neck walked past her, and he was close to seven feet tall. Alice had a strange realization that she was in a place where people wouldn’t find her height of any interest; this building was populated with giants.

She walked up to the desk. A young man looked up from his computer. He blinked at her and then said, “How can I…” He paused. “Ma’am, you look just like one of our physios.”

“William Waters?” Alice said.

He nodded. “It’s uncanny.”

“Can I see him, please?”

“I don’t think he’s come in yet. He should be here any minute, though. Do you want to take a seat and wait?”

She nodded and walked across the foyer to where the couches were. She realized, as she sat down, that the furniture was unusually high off the ground, built for oversized humans. Alice tried her best to appear calm and relaxed and not to look startled every time the front door opened, which was often. After fifteen minutes, she texted Carrie: How long do I wait?

The reply came: A long time.

After thirty minutes, the young man from the front desk walked over and said, “I’m sorry this is taking so long. William’s usually right on time. I left a message on his cellphone, letting him know you were here. I’m sure he’ll arrive soon.”

Alice nodded her thanks and wondered, while he walked away, how he’d described her in the voicemail. Had he said, A tall woman who looks like you is here? Or, The daughter you never wanted has shown up?

An hour passed, and her stomach grumbled. It was almost lunchtime, and she’d woken up well before dawn, too nervous to eat. She saw the pitying looks the people who worked there were giving her. She thought, I’m an idiot. He clearly knows I’m here and isn’t coming for that reason. They all feel bad for me.

She texted Carrie: In ten minutes, I’m leaving.

Her friend wrote right back. You can leave that building, but you’re not leaving Chicago. You committed to twenty-four hours there. Your ticket is for tomorrow. Call one of your aunts. See someone.