Here Lies Gloria Mundy

‘You knew of the existence of Miss Mundy before you went to Beeches Lawn, did you not?’ said Dame Beatrice to me.

‘Yes, as I’ve told you, from old Hara-kiri. As soon as she pulled off the cap she was wearing when I first caught sight of her from my bedroom window, I concluded who she must be. That hair was unmistakable.’

‘Brings us back to the wig,’ said Laura, ‘and all the weary work to do again.’

‘Between the time when Anthony and McMaster first fell into her toils and the time of her visit to Beeches Lawn,’ I said, ‘she might have taken to wearing a wig. I mean, some people go grey very early in life and some illnesses lead to premature baldness, don’t they? Wouldn’t either of those explanations account for the wig?’

I was surprised, when I got back to my flat, to find Hara-kiri waiting for me in the caretaker’s little den. I took him up to my rooms and poured drinks.

‘Something wrong with the brochures?’ I asked, handing him his glass.

‘Lord, no! We’re very pleased with them and we particularly like the photographs and the very clear road-maps. You’ve done an excellent job for us.’ He took a deep draught of whisky, stared into his glass, tossed off the rest of the drink and then said, ‘Corin, old lad, would you regard me as a man who was likely to see ghosts?’

I gave him the time-honoured one about that depending upon what other spirits he had been acquainting himself with at the time. Then I recharged his glass. He set it down and said, ‘I’m perfectly serious. I’ve seen the ghost of Gloria Mundy.’

‘You can’t have done.’

‘She’s dead, isn’t she?’

‘One assumes so.’

‘I mean, there’s been an inquest and the body has been identified as hers.’

‘Wotton and I identified it; not an experience I would want too often.’

‘And the medical evidence was given that she had been stabbed?’

‘You seem to have read your newspapers.’

‘And that the murderer had attempted to cover up the crime by burning the body?’

‘Quite correct, old man.’

‘Well, then, I’ve seen her ghost.’

‘Where?’

‘In Trends, that dress shop. I was in there the other day.’

‘Oh, come, come, come!’ I said. ‘What would Gloria’s ghost be doing in Trends?’

‘Selling evening gowns. She used to work there, you know.’

I looked at him with the deepest concern and asked him whether he had ever had a really bad knock on the head.

‘I expect I got a kick or two on it. You do sometimes when you go down in front of a forward rush, but that was donkey’s years ago. It’s never affected me except in the most temporary way. This wasn’t hallucination, Corin,’ he said earnestly.

‘Ghosts are hallucination. Tell me more,’ I said. ‘Were you under the influence at the time?’

13

The Revenant

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He shook his head and said, ‘There isn’t any more to tell.’

‘Of course there is. Chapter and verse, man, chapter and verse!’

‘I’m no good at that sort of thing. It’s your department to fill in the padding, not mine.’

‘All right, I’ll help you out. What were you doing in Trends? I thought they catered exclusively — and I can say that again when I think of their prices — exclusively for the sex which we prize above rubies.’

‘That’s right. Kate had dragged me there so that I could buy her a couple of evening dresses.’

‘Ah, now we’re off. Begin at the beginning. This sounds like good stuff and I may be able to get some copy out of it.’

‘No naming any names, then. Yes, well, Kate and I go out quite a bit and she came to the conclusion, as women are all too apt to do, that she had nothing fit to wear. I suggested that I should supply her with funds and that she should take a woman friend with her and chase round the shops, but, as usual, she insisted on taking me along and we went to Trends. There I saw Gloria’s ghost.’

‘Trends wouldn’t allow ghosts in their exclusive emporium. I suppose you thought you recognised the hair.’

‘As a matter of fact, no. This girl was entirely black-haired and was wearing a black frock and she had a dead-white face.’

‘Well, there you are, then. She was a real girl, not a ghost and certainly not Gloria.’

McMaster took up his drink, looked at it and put it down again. ‘It was Gloria and she was a ghost. Look, Corin, in the old days I wined and dined Gloria, I took her to ballet and the theatre, I went to Paris with her — God knows what it did to my money, but I told you about that, I expect — and I slept with her. I couldn’t possibly be mistaken. Besides, although people can change their hair and their complexion and a man can grow a beard or shave one off, there is one thing neither man nor woman can alter, and that is the colour of their eyes and the way those eyes are set in the head. I know you can do a lot with eyeshadow and theatrical make-up, but you can’t really disguise the basics. Gloria had cats’ eyes, green as green glass and utterly without humour, kindness or pity. This ghost had those eyes.’