Holder of Lightning

"There's nothing you can give me. It's something I have to feel. Back in Ballintubber. . My marriage would never have been arranged; I wasn't important enough for that. It's the poor who can most easily marry for love, and I always expected that, if I married, it would be that way. I expected that we would have little more than the land we worked, that it would be hard, but it would be all right because we would care for each other. This-" Jenna swept a hand through the air.

"You can still have love," MacEagan said. "I don't intend to keep you from that."

"But it would always have to be a secret love. You might know, and perhaps Aithne, but it would have to be hidden from everyone else.

"Aye," MacEagan responded. He blinked. "As mine is. Now." He too another sip of the whiskey and set the glass down once more. "I've already y given you my trust, Holder. I've already made myself vulnerable to you s^A that you would feel safe. I can't force you into this marriage, and wouldn’t even if I could. But I do think it could be advantageous to us both. I will give you one other promise-if one day you find a love that you can't bear to keep hidden from the rest of the world, then I will go with you to the Draiodoir and sign the dissolution. All you have to do is ask."

"You say that now."

"I'll put it in writing, if you wish."

Jenna could feel her hands trembling. She placed her right hand over her left, trying to conceal the

nervousness. In the three days since the Banrion had made the suggestion back in Inishfeirm, she had agonized over this. The night the Banrion had come, she’d gone to the harbor and called Thraisha, but no matter how wide she cast the vision of Lamh Shabhala, she couldn’t find her. The Holders within the cloch na thintri had been useless, yammering contradictory advice. She had found Riata in the babble and spoken with him, but he had only sighed. "The Daoine way isn’t ours," he said, more than once, and didn’t seem to be able to comprehend the implications, so foreign to his culture. She’d called her da from the carving of the blue seal, and he had listened sympathetically, but in the end all he could tell her was to do what she thought best. She wished more than once that she could talk with her mam again-she wondered what Maeve’s advice might be, caught up as she was in the same snare-but her mam was with Mac Ard. She closed her eyes every night and called to Ennis’ spirit, trying to bring him to her to tell her what to do… but the only answer had been the wind and the steady, relentless sound of the surf against the rocks.

"You are the only one who can make the decision," Riata had said finally. "You are the one who has to live it."

"Write it, then," Jenna said. "And we will marry, Kyle MacEagan."

"Please leave us, Keira," MacEagan said to Jenna’s attendant. The young woman-no older than Jenna herself-lowered her gaze, curtsied quickly, and vanished, closing the door to the bedchamber behind her. MacEagan smiled at Jenna, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling her night robe tightly around her neck. He held a bottle of wine and two goblets.

"I thought I would come and say good night, Jenna," he said. He re-mained standing at the door. He nodded toward the polished wood be-hind him. "You can trust her. Keira’s been with me since she was twelve; she knows how to keep her mouth shut and eyes averted when they need to be. Or if you have someone else you feel you can trust more. .

?"

Jenna shook her head, mute. MacEagan-my husband, she thought. I Wonder if I will ever stop shivering when I hear that-continued to smile.

" ’Bantiarna Jenna MacEagan of Be an Mhuilinn,

Holder of Lamh Shabhala.' I imagine that will sound strange to you for a while."

"I think it may always sound strange," Jenna answered.

"If asked, Keira will swear that I spent our wedding night here in the chamber," MacEagan said. "But Alby has put together a room for me m across the hall. I thought. ." He lifted the wine and gold-rimmed goblets "We should at least share a drink together first. I would like that, if you're willing. It's been a long and tiring day for both of us."