Hotel Vendome

The driver walked her up the front steps, and a butler let them in, and he smiled as soon as he saw her and walked her upstairs to a sunny sitting room where Miriam was nursing her infant son. Her eighteen-month-old daughter was careening wildly through a sea of toys.

Heloise hadn’t seen her mother in a year but was used to her new look from pictures in magazines. Miriam was in People magazine all the time, and Heloise kept them all. Since leaving Hugues, she had dyed her hair white blond and cut it short. She had a row of diamonds in pierces up her ears, and she had tattoos on both arms. She was wearing a T-shirt and tight black leather jeans. She held an arm out to Heloise as she nursed the baby, whom Heloise had not seen before. She had met her half-sister Arielle the year before, and she squealed with delight when she saw Heloise’s doll.

“What a pretty doll.” Miriam smiled at her as though she were someone else’s child.

“Eva Adams gave her to me. I found her diamond bracelet that she’d lost in some towels,” Heloise explained almost shyly. Her mother became more of a stranger to her every time they met. Miriam had replaced her with two babies by a man she loved. Heloise was the reminder of a life and man she wanted to forget. And Heloise had no mother figure to replace her with, except the people who worked at the hotel. The only real parent she had now was her father. And she missed having a mom to cuddle up with, even though she loved her father.

Miriam leaned over and kissed her then, over the baby’s head. He looked up at Heloise with interest, and then went back to nursing. He was a chubby, happy-looking baby. His older sister Arielle climbed into her mother’s lap then, cuddling her mother and brother. There was no room for Heloise in her mother’s arms, or her life. And a few minutes later Greg walked in and looked surprised to see Heloise as he glanced at his wife.

“I forgot you were coming,” he said to Heloise in a heavy cockney accent. He had far more tattoos than Miriam and “sleeves” of them on both arms, and he was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and black cow-boy boots. They were completely different from anyone in Heloise’s world, certainly her father, although she occasionally saw rock stars at the hotel. But she couldn’t even imagine her mother with her father now. She had no memory of the time when they’d been married, and they were totally different from each other. Miriam looked almost identical to Greg and in total harmony with him.

Greg was pleasant to Heloise, although she never felt totally at ease with him. He smoked heavily, used bad language, and had a drink in his hand most of the time. Hugues had warned Miriam that he didn’t want any drugs around Heloise while she was with them, and she promised that there wouldn’t be, although Greg usually smoked dope openly at home. She asked him not to during Heloise’s visit, and he said he’d try to remember, although he had a joint in his hand most of the time.

They celebrated Christmas Eve together the next night, and her mother gave her a black leather jacket that was too big and a black Chanel watch with diamonds on the face that was unsuitable for a child her age and showed how little she knew her. Even a stranger like Eva Adams had chosen better gifts for her. Greg gave her a small guitar that she didn’t know how to play, and they went to visit his parents in Wimbledon on Christmas Day.

And after that Heloise hardly saw them. Greg was recording, and Miriam sat in on the sessions with him and took the baby with her so she could nurse him, and they left Heloise at home with the nanny and Arielle. And after recording Greg and Miriam went out with his band almost every night. She made no effort to take Heloise anywhere, and when Hugues called to see how she was, Heloise said politely that she was having a nice time. She didn’t know what else to say and didn’t want to be disloyal to the mother she hardly ever saw and was afraid to lose entirely.

So she spent most of her time playing with Arielle, and with baby Joey when he was home. And the nanny was pleasant to her. She took Heloise to Harrods to shop for some clothes, and to Hyde Park, and to the stables of Buckingham Palace and the changing of the guard.

Heloise spent most of the week at the house, wishing she were home. She felt out of place and as though she were a guest and not part of the family. They made no effort to make her feel included, and sometimes they forgot that she was there, until the nanny reminded them. And on New Year’s Day Heloise got in an argument with her mother, who was telling Greg how much she had hated living at the hotel, and what a bore it was, and even more so during the endless two years before that when Hugues had been renovating it, and what a drag it was, and so was Hugues.