Hotel Vendome

He sat at his desk feeling as though a bomb had exploded in the room. He knew he deserved it, but he hadn’t wanted this to happen. And he knew that the only thing that could change it was if he was willing to tell Heloise about her, and he wasn’t. Not for another six months. And maybe she was right. Maybe not even then. He was appalled at his own lack of courage, but the reality was that his relationship with his daughter was more important to him than the one with Natalie. She knew it, and so did he. All he could do now was let her go and accept her decision, out of respect for her. He loved her, but as she had said so poignantly in her letter, not enough. Not enough to respect her and treat her right. And he agreed with her. She deserved better than this. She wasn’t a dirty little secret. She was a woman who deserved everything she wanted. He just couldn’t give it to her. There were tears in his eyes when he folded the letter, put it back in the envelope, and put it in a locked drawer in his desk. He put his face in his hands and sat there for a few minutes, and then he got up and walked out of the room. He looked grim.

“Is everything all right?” Jennifer asked him softly. He hesitated and then nodded and walked out to the lobby to catch up on things at the front desk. Jennifer didn’t know what was in the letter, but she could guess. Natalie hadn’t called her either, but she knew how upset she was about Hugues never telling Heloise about her. And sooner or later she knew that Natalie would have enough of it and jump ship. The look on Hugues’s face told Jennifer that Natalie just had. She hoped not. But seven months was a long time to wait for a man to tell his kid. And she was sorry for them both. It was obvious that he loved her, but he loved his daughter more. And Jennifer knew it wouldn’t have been easy either if he told her. Heloise was never going to like having another woman in his life, no matter who that woman was. And she thought Natalie was terrific, and she deserved better than this. Apparently, Natalie thought so too.

Jennifer didn’t see Hugues again for the rest of the day. He was all over the hotel, catching up, and eventually he went upstairs to his apartment, locked the door, put the Do Not Disturb sign on, lay down on his bed, and cried himself to sleep.

Chapter 14

IT WAS A long, hot, lonely summer for both Natalie and Hugues. Natalie took on several new decorating jobs, none of which she enjoyed as much as the suites she had redone at the Hotel Vendome. She agreed to do a beachhouse in Southampton, another in Palm Beach, and two apartments in New York. All of her new clients were very nice and loved her work, but she had never felt as uninspired and depressed as for those three months over the summer.

Natalie felt like she had to drag herself to work every day, and she felt physically sick for the first few weeks after leaving Hugues. She’d been there before, and she knew that there was no way around it. She just had to live through it. She genuinely loved him, and losing him was agony for her.

All three of her assistants were worried about her, and she had them doing most of the work. She couldn’t concentrate on anything. And then finally she got back into her work again and took refuge in it. She flew to Palm Beach twice to meet with the client and architect on the project. And another new client called while she was away, to have her do an enormous house in Greenwich. Business was booming, but she felt awful.

By September, she was still in a funk, but getting used to it and working hard. She pushed herself through the days and was sleepless for most of the nights. She thought of Hugues constantly, but she had nothing to say to him, and after he got her letter that she had left at the hotel for him, he stopped calling her. She wanted to get over him, but she had no idea how long it would take. Every day felt like a lifetime, and every month like a century.

By Labor Day weekend, she felt as though she had been moving underwater with a cement block on her head for three months. She had never been so depressed in her life, even when the man she had lived with had gone off with her best friend. Hugues was a major loss for her, and she felt that he had never given her a decent chance. He had sent her a brief note in response to her letter telling her how much he loved her and how sorry he was. He admitted that he hadn’t done the right thing but was too afraid to, under the circumstances. He told her again that he loved her and wished her well. He knew she was right to end it, but he felt just as bad as she did all summer. And all he could do to dull the pain was work constantly and never take a moment off. Those who had been there when his wife left him said he hadn’t looked as bad as this.