Hotel Vendome

“You are too old,” Heloise said harshly. They had just turned her life upside down again with their shocking news. “You’ll be sixty years old when your kids go to college, and you’ll be seventy,” she said, looking at her father. Natalie answered her gently but firmly.

“A lot of parents are these days. Women older than I am are having babies.”

Heloise collapsed on the couch and stared at them miserably. She made no comment. She had just gotten used to their being married, and now they were hitting her with three babies. “I don’t know what to say.”

“How about ‘Congratulations’?” her father said quietly. “This is going to be hard enough, particularly on Natalie, without having you beating us up too. Could you be happy for us? They’re going to be part of your life too.” He spoke to her very gently. He wanted her as an ally this time, not an enemy again.

“I don’t know what to think,” she said honestly. She didn’t know if she was jealous, angry, hurt, or just shocked. It seemed like a crazy idea to her.

“Neither did we at first. Three babies is a lot to wrap your mind around,” Natalie said, looking at her, “and I have to have them. If anyone should be freaked out, it’s me.”

“Are you?” Heloise looked at her curiously, as though she had suddenly grown two heads.

“Sometimes. I’m happy, sad, scared, thrilled, terrified, the happiest woman in the world, and all of the above. But bottom line I’m really excited, and I want this more than anything in life.” She reached out and touched Hugues’s hand as she said it, and Heloise felt shoved aside again. First by his wife, and now by their three babies. It was a lot to take in.

“Did this just happen, or is it something you planned?” Heloise asked her.

“We had them by IVF, in vitro fertilization. We worked hard at this. It didn’t just happen. It was our dream.” Heloise looked at her father as Natalie said it. She couldn’t imagine this being his dream too. It was obviously her idea. Her father had never said he wanted more children, quite the reverse. He always said that he was happy with the one he had and that was enough for him. And now they were having three of their own. It reminded her of her mother having two babies with Greg, after she abandoned her. It made Heloise feel a little sick. She stood up then and looked at them both.

“I think I need to think about this. Give me a little while to absorb it. I can’t deal with it right now.” It was better than her reaction the year before, when they told her they were in love. It was beginning to feel like every Christmas they hit her with another atom bomb. And this one was really big. She left their apartment quietly and went downstairs to her own. And then she called Brad. He could hear instantly that she was upset.

“What’s up?”

“Umm … it’s complicated to explain. I’m feeling kind of weird.”

He sounded instantly worried. “Are you sick?”

“No. I just need to talk to you. Can you come down as soon as you finish studying?”

“Sure. I should be done in half an hour. I can come now if you want, and finish later. Is something really wrong?”

“Yes … no … I don’t know … I’m just upset. I’m probably being stupid.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, of course not.” And then she started crying. She was very upset, and she needed a reality check from him. Maybe she was crazy. But she wasn’t happy about their babies. And her mother’s two children had never made her happy either. She didn’t even like them. And why would she like these any better?

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said seriously. He wasn’t going to be able to study now anyway, while he was worrying about her.

He was at the door to her apartment in twenty minutes, and she was sitting on the couch crying. She folded silently into his arms the moment he walked in, and it took her another five minutes to regain her composure. He was staring at her intently then.

“Tell me what happened.”

She blew her nose in a tissue she’d been holding and looked at him. “This probably sounds stupid to you. But Natalie is pregnant. She’s having triplets. They knocked themselves out to have them by IVF.” She started crying again then as he listened. “So now they have each other. They’re madly in love and they have three babies. They’re suddenly the perfect family overnight. And I have a mother who hates me and never remembers I’m alive, and she had two new kids too, after she dumped me. So where am I now in all this? Who am I to all of them? Where do I fit in? I feel like I’ve been fired. I’m the old model. Now they have three new ones.” He didn’t say a word to her at first, he just held her as tightly as he could and listened to her as he stroked her hair. He was just glad that she could articulate what she was feeling. And he could see how painful it was for her and why it would be. Her mother had abandoned her, and now her father was in love and having three more children. It would have hurt anyone’s feelings.