I'll Get You For This

  "Hello yourself, juicy fruit," he said, draping himself over the bar. "How about rinsing our tonsils together?" He winked at me. "Blondes go for me. It's my powerful personality."

  "You want to be careful with this guy," I said to the blonde. "He eats grape-nuts for breakfast every day. You'd be surprised what it does to him."

  The blonde was a little pop-eyed. I guess she thought we were drunk.

  The Cuban wiped the counter mechanically, asked us what we would have.

  "Let's start a famine in whisky," Hoskiss said. "Three triple whiskies, and keep your thumb out of mine."

  The blonde continued to eye us. She couldn't make up her mind which of us to concentrate on.

  "Well, sugar plum," Hoskiss said, "that's a nice face and body you're wearing, but I'd hate to share you with anyone. Isn't there some frill who'd take care of my boy friend so we can be alone together?"

  "Isn't he big enough to find his own frill?" she asked in a drawling voice. "The joint's lousy with girls."

  "There you are," Hoskiss said to me. "Don't horn in on my discovery. Take a look around. Peach blossom says the girls' joints are lousy."

  I gaped at him. He was certainly relaxing.

  The Cuban shoved the whiskies at us, asked twice their worth.

  Hoskiss waved to me.

  "This is your party," he said. He nodded to the Cuban. "My friend will pay. That's the only reason why I go around with him."

  I slid five bucks to the Cuban. The blonde leaned against me. I smiled. The five spot had decided for her who she was going to be nice to. Hoskiss regarded her sadly.

  "You leaning against the wrong man, or did you know?" he said.

  "Go bowl a hoop," she said.

  He looked quite cut-up.

  "And I thought you cared for me for myself," he said, shaking his head at her.

  She looked at me. "Tell him to go bowl a hoop," she said. "We don't want him in our party, do we?"

  "The lady wants you to bowl a hoop," I said to Hoskiss. "Can you oblige her?"

  He finished his whisky, sighed.

  "Not immediately," he said, "but don't let that interfere with your fun. She isn't the only blonde who's dipped her head in peroxide. I see a red-head steering my way."

  A red-haired girl came up. She was a trifle plump and her face was heavily powdered and rouged. She had on yellow silk panties.

  "Want any help?" she asked the blonde. "Take this cram off our hands," the blonde said, waving languidly at Hoskiss. "He eats grape-nuts and hasn't any dough."

  The red-head sniffed. "Haven't you really any dough, darling?" she asked Hoskiss.

  "You bet," he said. "But I only spend it on red-heads. You've arrived at the crucial moment. Have a drink?" The blonde said to me, "Want to dance?" "Go on and dance," Hoskiss said. "I have my new-found friend to keep me warm."

  I sank my whisky, took the blonde on to the floor. My right hand rested on a bulge of warm flesh above her hip. She turned out to be a good dancer, once I got it into her head that I wanted to dance and not wrestle.

  After we'd completed a couple of circuits of the floor, I said, "Who runs this joint?"

  Under their heavy coating of blue-black mascara her eyes were surprised.

  "What's it to you?"

  "Look, girlie," I said patiently. "Never mind the cross-talk. I asked who ran this joint. Do you have to make a mystery of it?"

  "I guess not," she said. Her eyes went glassy, blank. I decided she didn't find me particularly interesting. "Madam runs it. Is that what you want to know?"

  "Madam who?"

  She sighed. "Durelli. Satisfied?"

  "I don't need to take anything from you," I said gently. "If you can't work up a little enthusiasm, I'll ditch you."

  Her eyes flashed, but she managed to control her temper. "Don't get sore, honey," she said. "I want you to have a good tune."

  "That makes two of us," I said, manoeuvring her so we passed close to Hoskiss. He eyed us over, said in a loud voice to the redhead: "Extraordinary types you get in here. That fellow would look more at home in a cage." He seemed to be enjoying himself; the red-head too.

  "Let's go upstairs," the blonde said, suddenly, impatiently. "It's too hot to dance."

  "Sure," I said, and we danced over to the door.

  I caught Hoskiss's eye. He looked reproachful.

  I winked, waved and followed the blonde out of the room. She ran up a steep flight of stairs, along a passage.

  I followed her into a small room furnished with a divan, a cupboard and a carpet.

  She stood by the divan, eyed me expectantly.

  "You're not going to be mean, are you, honey?" she said.

  I reached inside my pocket, produced three five-dollar bills, dangled them before her.

  Her eyes lit up and she smiled. The bored, resigned expression vanished.

  "Run along and tell Madam Durelli I want to see her," I said.

  She stared. "What's the idea?" she demanded, her voice hardening. "Don't you like me or something?"

  "Can't you earn yourself a little dough without sounding off? I'm offering it you the easy way. Take this and get Madam. Go on, beat it."

  She snatched the money, slipped it into the top of her stocking, went to the door.