In Laymon's Terms

“Sure, man. Chill out, it’s cool. ’Sides, screw her—me and Sherri, we’re gonna be seein’ lots of titties tomorrow, ain’t we, baby? Hm?” Randy stretched his arm further over the girl’s shoulder and roughly squeezed her right breast through her jacket. A soft moan, almost a whimper, escaped her tightly-pressed lips. Gary tensed. He noted the grinning young man either didn’t hear the poor kid or simply didn’t care.

“Yeah man, we’ve been thumbin’ rides for more than a week. Got our last one from those two guys over there,” Randy said, pointing at the two men at the table by the door. “Came here to tour that old house up the road where all them murders are s’posed to have been done. Where all them bitches got ripped and chewed up good. And got the fuckin’ of their lives, from what I hear.” His eyes sparkling with feverish excitement, he patted his jacket with his left hand. “Here, I know I got somethin’ about it in here somewhere...”

“Look, that’s all right, I’m not really—”

“Nah, man, I just gotta—yeah, here it is!” Randy pulled out a worn and folded-up sheet of green paper. “Here, you gotta check this shit out.” He leaned over the table and tossed the flyer. It spun and fluttered down over Gary’s shoulder and onto his worksheets. “Hell, we came all the way up from L.A. for this. Check it out, man,” he said, pointing at Gary’s table, “it’s wild.”

“Yeah, uh, all right. Thanks,” he said, turning around in his seat. His stomach was tense and knotted and, God, he was tired. He hoped he was done with this psycho-wannabe, though he felt sorry for the girl. A real shame, seemed like a nice kid.

Gary took a sip of coffee. Barely warm.

“Uh, excuse me, miss?” The waitress grabbed the coffeepot and walked back over to his table. “Could I get some...?” He nodded distractedly at his half-empty cup as he swept up the mess of papers on the table into a pile away from his cup, keeping them safe from any spattering of coffee.

“You sure you want a warm-up?” She glanced at her watch. “Getting kinda late.”

Gary looked up. “What?”

“Just that it’s getting kind of late and we should’ve been closed by now.”

“Look, miss,” Gary said patiently, “I’m not trying to be rude here, but you were open and, yes, I know full well how late it is. That’s actually the reason I need the coffee. So, if you wouldn’t mind...?”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She bent over and slowly, carefully poured the steaming coffee. The tops of her large breasts strained at the thin material of her dress top, the ribbing of her neckline gently cutting into her full, spongy flesh.

Gary forced his eyes back onto his paperwork. “Thanks,” he said to the table as she finished pouring, not daring to look up again until she’d gone. He could feel Randy’s lewd grin boring into the back of his head.

Gary took a sip of his hot coffee; the burnt acrid taste was jolting and wonderful. His eyes strayed to the rumpled sheet of green paper that stood out like a green beacon in a sea of white. Knowing Randy wouldn’t let him alone until he looked at it, he plucked it from his reports, unfolded it and began to read:

THE BEAST HOUSE

invites you to come and visit

...if you dare!!

Since 1932, Malcasa Point’s Beast House on California’s coast has offered visitors from around the world the opportunity to experience firsthand the horrific exploits of the legendary giant Beast!

Come join us and:

*    WITNESS the blood-soaked recreations from more than a dozen true monstrous butcheries of sexual savagery that have occurred within these very walls!

*    SEE lifelike wax figures of all the Beast’s ravaged victims painstakingly-recreated as they were found—in the very setting and shredded clothing in which they met their violent death!

*    EXPERIENCE the legendary horror & FEEL the horror that is...The Beast House!

Admission: $15.00 per person. Includes equipment rental for self-guided audio tour. Tour includes some nudity. Special Midnight Tours given each Saturday night at midnight, $100.00 per person (18 & over).

*** Present this flyer and receive 20% off your total dining bill at the newly expanded Snack Shop

...now offering a full line of gourmet and vegetarian meals at reasonable prices!!

*** 10 Front Street, Malcasa Point, CA (approximately 150 miles North of San Francisco on the coast’s Highway 1)

“So?”

Gary tore his eyes from the flyer and looked back over his shoulder. “What?”

“The Beast House, man,” said Randy, rolling his eyes. “The House. What’dya think?”

Gary reached over and handed it back to him. “Sorry. Not my kind of thing.”

Randy shook his head in disgusted disbelief and folded the green flyer back in his jacket. “Fuck, shoulda guessed.” He whispered something in Sherri’s ear and then said, “Oh, hey—by the way, is that your Volvo out there, the gray one?”

“Yeah, that’s mine. Why?”