In the Best Families

Wolfe behind his desk, busy at the phone.

I dropped into my chair and dabbed at my runny eyes with my handkerchief. When he hung up I asked, “Any luck?

“I didn't expect any, he growled.

“Right. Shall I call a cop?

“No.

I nodded. “The question was rhetorical. I dabbed at my eyes some more, and blew my nose. “Nero Wolfe does not call cops. Nero Wolfe opens his own packages of sausage and makes his own enemies bite the dust. I blew my nose again. “Nero

Wolfe is a man who will go far if he opens one package too many. Nero Wolfe has never-

“The question was not rhetorical, Wolfe said rudely. “That is not what rhetorical means.

“No? I asked it. I meant it to be rhetorical. Can you prove that I don't know what rhetorical means? I blew my nose. “When you ask me a question, which God knows is often, do I assume-

The phone rang. One of the million things I do to earn my salary is to answer it, so I did. And then a funny thing happened. There is absolutely no question that it was a shock to me to hear that voice, I know that, because I felt it in my stomach. But partly what makes a shock a shock is that it is unexpected, and

I do not think the sound of that voice in my ear was unexpected. I think that

Wolfe and I had been sitting there talking just to hear ourselves because we both expected, after what had happened, to hear that voice sooner or later-and probably sooner.

What it said was only, “May I speak to Mr Wolfe, please?

I felt it in my stomach, sharp and strong, but damned if I was going to let him know it. I said, but not cordially, “Oh, hallo there. If I get you. Was your name Duncan, once? “Yes. Mr Wolfe, please.

“Hold the wire. I covered the transmitter and told Wolfe, “Whosis.

“Who? he demanded.

“You know who from my face. Mr X. Mr Z. Him.

With his lips pressed tight, Wolfe reached for his phone. “This is Nero Wolfe.

“How do you do, Mr Wolfe. I was staying on, and the hard, cold, precise voice sounded exactly as it had the four previous times I had heard it, over a period of three years. It pronounced all its syllables clearly and smoothly. “Do you know who I am?

“Yes. Wolfe was curt. “What do you want?

“I want to call your attention to my forbearance. That little package could have been something really destructive, but I preferred only to give you notice. As I told you about a year ago, it's a more interesting world with you in it.

“I find it so, Wolfe said dryly.