In the Best Families

He was on his feet, glaring down at me. “Watch it, looselip. I'm going to clip you.

“What for?

“You need a lesson. I'm a plant, am I?

“Nuts. Who's insulted now? I gestured. “You call me a name, I call you a name.

I take it, you take it. Let's start over.

But he was too sensitive to make up as quick as all that. He undid his fist, glared at me some more, sidled between his chair and his cot, and got comfortable on the cot with his Gazette. With his head towards the corridor he was getting as good light as there was, and I followed his example, folding one of the blankets for a pillow and spreading my handkerchief on it. Two hours and ten minutes passed without a word from either cot. I happen to know because as I stretched out I glanced at my watch, wondering how soon I could reasonably expect Parker to show up with a crowbar to pry me loose, and it was twenty past nine; and, after giving that Gazette as good a play as a newspaper ever got, I had just looked at my watch for the twentieth time and seen 11.30 when he suddenly spoke.

“Look, Goodwin, what are you going to do now?

I let the paper slide to the floor. “I don't know, take a nap, I guess.

“I don't mean now, this minute. Is anyone looking after you?

“If he isn't he'd better be. A high-priced lawyer named Parker.

Then what?

Til go home and take a bath.

Then what?

Til brush my teeth and shave.

Then what?

I swivelled my head to glance at him. “You're pretty damn' persistent. Where do you want us to get to?

“Nowhere in particular. He stayed supine, and I noticed that in profile he looked a little like John L. Lewis, only a lot younger. He went on, “I was just thinking, with Nero Wolfe gone I suppose your job's gone. Can't I think?

“Sure. If it doesn't hurt.

A brief silence. He spoke again. Tve heard about you a little. What kind of a guy are you?

“Oh-I'm a thinker too, and I'm cultured. I got good marks in algebra. I sleep well. I'm honest and ambitious, with a good personality.

“You know your way around.

“In certain circles, yes. It would be hard to lose me within ten miles of Times

Square unless I was blindfolded. What are the requirements of the position you are about to offer?

He ignored that and took another angle. “My name is Christy-Max Christy. Ever hear of me?

If I had, it was vague, but I saw no point in hurting his feelings. “Max

Christy? I snorted. “Don't be silly.