In the Best Families

“Nuts. Where is he, Archie?

That cleared the atmosphere. Over the years he had called me Goodwin fifty times to one Archie. He called me Archie only when he wanted something awful bad or when he had something wrapped up that Wolfe had given him and his humanity overcame him. So we were to be mellow.

“Listen, I said, friendly but firm. “That routine is all right for people like district attorneys and state cops and the representatives of the press, but you're above it. Either I don't know where he is, or I do know but I'm sitting on it. What's the difference? Next question.

He took a cigar from his pocket, inspected it, rubbed it between his palms, and inspected it again. “It must be quite a thing, he remarked, not growling. “That ad in the paper. The plants gone. Fritz and Theodore gone. Vukcic listing the house for sale. I'm going to miss it, I am, never dropping in to see him sitting there thinking he's smarter than God and all His angels. Quite a thing, it must be. What is it?

I said slowly and wearily, “Either I don't know what it is, or I do know but-

“What about the sausage that turned into tear gas? Any connection?

I am always ready for Inspector Cramer, in the light of experience guided by intelligence, and therefore didn't bat an eye. I merely cocked my head a little, met his gaze, and considered the matter until I was satisfied. “I doubt if it was Fritz, I stated. “Mr Wolfe has him too well trained. But in the excitement

Sunday morning, Mr Wolfe being gone, Fritz told Theodore, and you got it out of

Theodore. I nodded. “That must be it.

“Did the tear gas scare him out of his skin? Or out of his house, which is the same thing. Was that it?

“It might have, mightn't it? A coward like him?

“No. Cramer put the cigar between his teeth, tilted up. “No, there are plenty of things about Wolfe I can and do object to, but he's not a coward. There might have been something about that tear gas that would have scared anybody. Was there?

“As far as I know, it was just plain tear gas, nothing fancy. I decided to shove a little. “You know, it's nice to have you here any time, just for company, but aren't you spreading out some? Your job is homicide, and the tear gas didn't even make us sick, let alone kill us. Also your job is in the County of New York, and Mrs Rackham died in Westchester. I enjoy talking with you, but have you got credentials?