Into the Abyss

Tom opened his eyes at the sound of the commotion coming from the tunnel leading into his cave. He hadn’t been asleep, he didn’t seem to need it unless he expended a large amount of energy. After the battle with the demons, he’d felt rather tired, but not enough to really need sleep. So he’d just rested for a few hours in his stone chair, waiting for another call. Surprisingly, it hadn’t come.

He’d gone a few days at least, by his reckoning since the demon battle, it was hard to tell when there were no nights, and one didn’t sleep; but still no calls. With this free time he had amused himself by carving himself a table out of stone that could sit in front of his throne, like a desk, if he so desired. Naturally, the table literally weighed a ton, but with his strength it was no problem to move it around as if it were a folding table.

At the moment, he’d just been relaxing with his feet up on the table, leaning back in his chair-it had, incidentally, taken quite a bit of work to get his new body in a position like this which was actually comfortable. As he began to pay more attention to the noise, it sounded like a small party coming down the corridor. Sure enough, Boggy and Tizzy were coming out of the tunnel even as he thought this. They were laughing and carrying on, and each had what appeared to be a wine glass in their hands. Tizzy also was carrying a bottle of wine in his lower left hand. As they walked in, they saw Tom staring at them. “Hey Tom, old boy... congratulate friend Boggy here!” Tizzy shouted joyfully.

Tom smiled, as best he could with his snout, at their jubilation and asked “What’s the occasion?”

“HE screwed up, so I got mine, that’s what!” Boggy shouted, a trifle drunkenly.

“He killed his accursed master! That’s what!” shouted Tizzy.

“You what?” asked Tom, shocked into sitting up straight in his chair.

“Actually, I redistributed his body parts,” answered Boggy.

“True, oh, true,” laughed Tizzy.

“Yes, you see, he was always so uppity and all, but concerned about his family and their future well being... he even had this will and all in a lock box at a bank, in order to take care of his bratty grown kids.”

“Who are obnoxious merchant types now,” interjected Tizzy.

“Yes, well anyway, to make sure that the future generations were well provided for, I took the liberty of ensuring that the family jewels were placed in the lock box also.”

“The family jewels...” Tom said, at first not understanding, but then grimacing in sympathetic pain, when he realized what Boggy meant.

“’Course, I do have to admit, he was a bit upset when I took them. Screamed most horrendously at me. It was then, of course, that I realized how much his wife would miss that screaming of his after I killed him, so I took his tongue and gave it to her. Unfortunately, she was busy at the time so I just had to leave it... in the stew. Naturally, by this time, he was a little bit mad at me and just hung there by his toenails glaring at me. This, of course, kind of discomforted me to see him leering so. Thus I plucked out his right eye and ate it, while his left eye watched. The worst part was that I hadn’t thought, and had ripped his tongue out too soon, so all he could do was gurgle at me.”

“Enough, please!” Tom was getting sick to his stomach.

Boggy didn’t seem to hear, obviously relishing his recounting of his triumph. “I have to admit, by the time I’d plucked all the hair from his body and pulled his fingers and toes off, I was getting a bit bored. So, apparently, was he, he started to nod off from time to time. He probably thought that I’d think he was passing out from pain; but I knew, he was just bored and falling asleep. So naturally I clubbed him over the head a couple times with his right arm. I would have used a leg, since it makes a much better club, but by this point the legs were broken in so many places that they were just too limp to use effectively as clubs. After all the beating I had to do to get him awake again, I realized he really didn’t have the heart for this sort of thing... so I ripped his out.

“Well by now I was about to leave, when who should enter, but the old man’s fat pig son, who was a truly avaricious banker. Strangely, he seemed to be a bit shocked by the state his father was in. It was then when I remembered the conscientious and stingy nature of the master, in always wanting to keep everything in the family. So thinking quick, I grabbed the son and sat him down. I then, of course, proceeded to make amends by serving him dinner. The main course being the remains of his father. Admittedly, he was a bit hesitant at eating this delectable meal... but when I pointed out that if he didn’t eat everything on his plate... he might grow up to be just like his father... in about two minutes... he readily cleaned his plate.”