Ivanov

LebedevWould you mind . . .? Gentlemen, I need to speak to Nicolas in private.

The Count goes out with Avdotya, followed by Borkin and Lvov.

IvanovPasha, you can drink as much as you like, it’s your funeral, but I ask you not to encourage my uncle. He never used to drink, and it’s not good for him.

Lebedev(alarmed) My dear fellow, I had no idea – I wasn’t even paying attention . . .

IvanovIf that old booby died on you, God forbid . . . So what do you want?

Pause.

LebedevWell, let’s see . . . I don’t know how to start, I don’t want it to come out all tactless – this is so embarrassing. I’m all tongue-tied, but, dear friend, put yourself in my place – you have to see I’m just an errand boy, a doormat – forgive me –

IvanovWhat are you talking about?

LebedevMy wife sent me. Do me a favour, as a friend, please pay the interest! I’m worn out with her nagging me about it – For God’s sake get her off my back – pay her!

IvanovPasha, you know I’ve got nothing to pay with at the moment.

LebedevI know, I know, but what am I supposed to do? She won’t wait. If she takes you to court, Sasha and I will never be able to meet your eye ever again.

IvanovI feel so ashamed, Pavel, I wish the earth would just swallow me up. But where am I to get the money? Just tell me. There’s nothing for it but to wait till I can sell the grain in autumn.

Lebedev(shouts) She won’t wait!

Pause.

IvanovIt’s an awkward situation for you, but mine is worse. There’s nothing I can think of . . . nothing I could sell . . .

LebedevMilbach owes you sixteen thousand, you must go and ask him.

Ivanov flaps his arm in a hopeless gesture.

All right, here’s what, Nicky . . . I know you’ll start objecting but . . . just humour an old soak, between friends, all right? Look on me as a friend. We were students together, liberals together, we had the same ideas. Moscow University is our alma mater –

He takes out his wallet.

So, look, here – I’ve got a secret stash, no one at home knows about it. Take it as a loan.

He takes out money and lays it on the table.

Swallow your pride and take it as an act of friendship. I’d do the same for you, cross my heart.

Pause.

Here it is on the table. Eleven hundred. You can drive over today and hand it to her in person. ‘Here you are, Zinaida Saveshna, ‘ you can say, ‘and may it choke you!’ Only, for God’s sake don’t let on you borrowed it from me, or I’ll be gooseberry jam. (Stares at Ivanov’s face.) All right, all right, no need for that -

He quickly takes the money from the table and puts it back in his pocket.

Forget it – I was only joking. I’m sorry, oh Christ, I’m really sorry!

Pause.

It’s all getting you down, isn’t it?

Ivanov waves his hand dismissively.

I know, what a business . . . (Sighs.) A time of pain and sorrow. You know, old friend, a man is like a samovar. For much of the time he’s put away on the kitchen shelf, cold and empty, but there comes the moment when he’s taken down, filled with hot coals and – psht, psht – he’s in business! Actually a man is not like a samovar, you’re right, it’s balls, I just couldn’t think of anything a man is like. (Sighs.) Ill fortune tempers the soul. I’m not offering you my pity, Nikolay, you’ll bounce back and things will come right. But I get angry when I hear what people are saying. It hurts me. Can you please tell me what’s behind this gossip about you? There are so many rumours going around the district, one half expects you to be arrested. People are saying you’re a murderer, a bloodsucker, a robber. . .

IvanovIt’s all nonsense . . . and I’ve got a headache.

LebedevThat’s from thinking too much.

IvanovI’m not thinking anything at all.

LebedevAnyway, don’t take any notice of all that – come over to us. Shurochka is fond of you, she appreciates you. She’s a good honest girl, Nikolay. Unlike her mother. Or her father. Perhaps he was a passing stranger . . . Sometimes I look at her and I can’t believe an old soak with this drunk’s nose on my face could own such a treasure. Drive over and have some intelligent conversation, you’ll enjoy it. She’s a true friend to you.

Pause.

IvanovPasha, my dear chap, leave me alone . . .

LebedevFair enough, quite understand . . .

He hurriedly looks at his watch and kisses Ivanov.

Goodbye, I have to go, they’re consecrating the new school.

He goes towards the door and stops.