Ivanov

A reception room in the Lebedev house, decorated for a wedding party. There is an upright piano, and on it a violin and a cello by the piano. Guests can be heard and seen, coming and going in the background.

Lvov enters, looks at his pocket watch.

Lvov(aside) It’s gone four. It’ll be time for the blessing, then off to the altar. The triumph of virtue. Ivanov and the Lebedev girl, of course. He got nothing out of the first one, and now it’s the next one’s turn to be robbed and sent to her grave. The same old story of grab what you can. He’s beside himself with happiness. He’ll live comfortably to a ripe old age and die with a clear conscience. Well, not if I have anything to do with it. Once I’ve torn away the mask and people see what kind of jackal he is, he’ll go from seventh heaven into the pit where all the powers of hell can’t drag him out. As an honest man, it’s my duty to say ‘enough’, and open people’s eyes. So I’ll do my duty and get out of this horrible district first thing tomorrow. (Thinks for a moment.) But how? Tell the Lebedevs what I know? Pointless. Challenge him to a duel? Make a scene? God, I’m feeling as nervous as a schoolboy. I can’t think straight. So what’s it to be? A duel?

Kosykh enters.

Kosykh(to Lvov) Yesterday I declared a small slam in clubs and made a grand slam! Only, Barabanov made a mess of it again. We play. I bid: no trumps. He passes. Two no trumps. He passes. I go two diamonds . . .

LvovI’m sorry, I don’t play cards so I can’t share your pleasure. Is it nearly time for the blessing?

KosykhIt must be. They’re trying to talk sense into Zyuzyushka. She’s having a weeping fit.

LvovLosing her daughter?

KosykhNo, the dowry. And she’s extremely pissed off about him getting off paying what he owes her, now he’s going to be her son-in-law.

Babakina enters, dressed up to the nines. She self-importantly passes across the stage past Lvov and Kosykh, who laughs into his fist. She looks round.

BabakinaGrow up!

Kosykh prods her waist with his finger and laughs out loud.

Oaf!

She continues out.

Kosykh(laughs) The old girl’s never been the same since she got her sights on being a countess. She’s off her chump, you can’t go near her now. (Mimics.) ’Oaf!’

Lvov(agitated) Tell me, what’s your opinion of Ivanov?

KosykhUseless. Plays like a blacksmith. Take what happened last year – me, the Count, Borkin and him. I’m dealing –

Lvov(interrupting) Is he a good person?

KosykhIvanov? The morals of a magpie. He and the Count are birds of a feather. They’ll take anything there for the taking. With the Jewess he got less than he bargained for, so now he’s making his move for Zina’s cash box. Sasha’ll end up begging in the street within a year, the devil take me if I’m wrong. Ivanov will stitch up Zyuzyushka, and the same thing with the Count and Babakina. They’ll take the money and live like lords. You’ve gone pale – are you all right? You look terrible.

LvovIt’s nothing, I drank too much yesterday, that’s all.

Lebedev enters with Sasha.

LebedevCome in here, Sasha, where we can talk. (To Lvov and Kosykh.) Go and join the ladies, you two, we need to talk in private.

Kosykh(going past Sasha, snaps his fingers admiringly) Pretty as a picture card – she’s the queen of trumps!

LebedevOn your way, you Neanderthal.

Lvov and Kosykh go out.

Sit down, Shurochka, that’s right. . . over here. (Sits down and looks round.) Now listen to me carefully and remember I’m your father. The fact is, your mother has asked me to tell you something. This is not me speaking, I’m just doing what your mother –

SashaOh, please get on with it, Papa.

LebedevThere’s fifteen thousand silver roubles put aside for your dowry. So let there be no argument about that later on. No, don’t interrupt – that’s not the whole story. There’s fifteen thousand which is yours, but seeing that Nikolay owes your mother nine thousand, it’s coming off your dowry. Not only that . . .

SashaWhy are you telling me? Lebedev Your mother said I had to.

SashaWell, leave me alone. If you had any respect for me, or yourself, you wouldn’t do this. I don’t want your dowry. I never asked for it, and I’m not asking now.

LebedevWhat have I done? If you think you’re so emancipated . . .