Johnny Angel

He laughed at the question she asked, and it was the laugh she remembered so well, and the smile she had missed so much. It felt so good to see him again, and made her feel more than ever that she didn't want to wake up.

“I think you'll be seeing me a lot.” He didn't mention the dream.

“When?” She wanted answers from him, and promises that she'd see him again in her dreams. The past two nights had been like a gift from him. It was exactly like being with him.

“Now,” he said comfortably. He seemed completely at ease with her.

“What do you mean now?”

“I mean now, when you wake up.”

“I'll see you when I wake up?” Even she knew better than that.

He nodded again, and she stared at him, confused.

“How about explaining that?”

“Okay Wake up.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now. Open your eyes.”

“I don't want to open my eyes. If I wake up now, you'll be gone, and everything will be awful again. I refuse to wake up.” She sounded more like a child than her son, and wanted to squeeze her eyes shut as tightly as she could.

“Wake up, Mom. Open your eyes.” She tried to resist at first, and then found that she could not. It was as though he were compelling her to do as he said. Her eyes fluttered open, and she couldn't see clearly at first in the darkened room, but when her eyes adjusted, she could see Johnny sitting at the end of her bed, looking just exactly as he had in her dream.

“Wow, this is some terrific dream,” she said, looking at him with a grin. “It must be the drugs.” She was amused. Maybe it was a hallucination, not a dream.

“No, it's not the drugs, Mom,” he said confidently, getting the hang of it himself. “It's me.”

“What do you mean, it's you?” She was suddenly staring right at him, and her eyes were open. It didn't make any sense to her. It no longer felt like a dream. And she was totally confused. She could see Johnny talking to her, and she had the impression she was wide awake, which was completely weird.

“Just what I said, Mom, it's me. This is pretty cool, Mom, isn't it?” He looked thrilled, and there was a look of panic in her eyes. She was suddenly wondering if she was delusional. Maybe her grief for him had finally pushed her over the edge. “I'm coming back for a while, Mom. But only to you,” he said, trying to explain it to her while her eyes grew wider still. “I think this is kind of a special deal. Someone told me it happens to people who leave very suddenly, and need to tie up loose ends. All I know is that you're supposed to fix things for people. But no one told me what to fix, or exactly for who. I think you have to figure it out for yourself.”

“John Peterson,” his mother said, trying to look stern, as she sat in her hospital bed and stared at him, “have you been doing drugs up there?” She looked utterly confused. She had inadvertently become part of a phenomenon that defied everything she believed or knew. It was like an out-of-body experience that included Johnny, and he looked happy, and at ease, and real. “I don't understand what's going on,” she said, looking a little wan. “I still think it must be the drugs I'm taking,” she said to herself, as a nurse walked into the room, and Johnny disappeared. It was as though he had never been there at all, but this time, she didn't feel sad. He had seemed far too real, and for once, she didn't feel the weight of a crushing loss. She felt oddly cheered.

“And how are you today?” the nurse asked happily, and was pleased once again with Alice's vital signs. She only stayed for a few minutes, and then left the room again. Alice closed her eyes, thinking of her son, and when she opened them, Johnny was standing next to her bed, grinning at her.

“This can't be happening,” she said, smiling up at him. “But I'm loving every minute of it. Where did you go?”

“I can't hang around when there are other people in the room. Those are the rules. I told you, Mom, I'm only here for you.”

“I wish you were,” she said with a yawn, but never taking her eyes off him. This was getting harder and harder to understand, and better and better to feel. It was so great seeing him, or thinking that she did.

“I am here for you, Mom. Trust me. I told you, this is very cool.”

“What are you saying to me?” She felt suddenly nervous now, as though something important were happening to her, far, far beyond her control, or even his. And it was.

“I know this will sound weird to you. It did to me too at first. They're sending me back for a while, to do some special work. Because when I went, I left so fast, I didn't have time to finish things. So they're letting me do it now. Not for me, but for everyone else. I think … you … Bobby … Charlie … Dad … Becky too, probably … maybe her mom … I've got a lot of stuff to do, but they haven't explained it to me yet.”

“Are you telling me you're coming back?” She sat bolt upright in bed and stared at him. And this time she knew she wasn't asleep.

“Just for a while,” he said, looking pleased.