Johnny Angel

The look on Jim's face, when he walked in, told its own story. He was ashen. He said nothing to his wife, but poured himself a cup of coffee, and looked long and hard at her, trying to gauge her reaction, when she came downstairs after putting Charlotte to bed. Alice was livid, as Johnny quietly withdrew and went back upstairs to Bobby. He'd been waiting in the kitchen with his mother when Charlotte and Jim came home. “Do you realize you could have killed her?” she said furiously. He didn't answer. They both knew the consequences of accidents like the one he'd just had with Charlotte. “I'm not going to let you drive the kids anymore, if you can't be responsible,” she said, looking angrily at him. “You can drink all you want, but don't get in a car with my children,” she said firmly, and he sat down at the kitchen table, looking like a beaten man. He had scared himself, and Charlotte, to death.

“I know, you have every right to say that, and to be very angry with me.” If there was one thing they both knew, it was the price of accidents like the one he'd just had. They had lived through it all too vividly with Bobby. Jim himself had never recovered from it, nor had their son.

“I'm never going to be able to forgive you, and neither are you, if you have another accident with one of our kids,” Alice said, looking right at him, and he had tears in his eyes when he turned away from her.

“Look. I get it. I feel awful. You don't have to say anything, Alice. I said it all to myself after it happened.” And she could see that he meant it. “I just had a couple of beers before we came home.”

“I'm going to say a lot, Jim, if you do it again. If you drink, don't drive our kids. If you do, I'm going to leave and take them with me.” She had never said anything like that to him before.

“Are you serious?” He looked horrified by what she was saying. He could see that she meant it. Something in her had snapped when the hospital called.

“Look,” Jim insisted, “I told you it won't happen again.” She gave him a long hard look, and then silently walked out of the kitchen, went upstairs to their bedroom, and closed the door.

Jim came up a few minutes later, and said nothing to her. Alice was already in bed, and in no mood to talk to him. And as he slipped quietly into bed and turned off the light, Alice could hear Johnny and Bobby moving around in the next room. But Jim was so exhausted from the emotions of the evening, he seemed to hear nothing, and within minutes, he was asleep.

Chapter 9

The tension in the house the day after Jim and Charlotte's accident hung over them like cement. Neither Jim nor Alice spoke at the breakfast table, Bobby was silent as usual, and Charlotte was in bed, asleep. And after Alice cleared the dishes, Jim stood watching her for a minute, trying to get up the courage to talk to her. But it was obvious she didn't want to talk to him.

“I'm going to the office today,” he said, as though expecting a reaction from her, but he got none. She turned around and looked at him in silence. “Will you be all right here with the kids? I mean, with Charlotte and everything….” His voice drifted off as he saw the pain and accusation in her eyes. It was obvious that she felt he had betrayed her. “Look, dammit, I didn't do it on purpose.”

“You didn't need to drink when you took her out. You could have waited till you got home.”

“I know,” he said in a choked voice. “I was excited about the game. She's going to be all right, Alice. I didn't kill her.” He tried to defend himself, but it was futile. They both knew he was wrong.

“If you want to risk yourself, I don't like it, but that's your choice. You have no right to make those kinds of decisions with our children.” What it told her was that she could no longer trust him with their children. Neither his driving nor his judgment could be relied on anymore.

“I won't do it again,” he said weakly, feeling rotten. He hated knowing that he had upset her, and Charlotte had gotten hurt.

“No, you won't,” she said with a different tone than he'd ever heard before, “because I won't let you.” He said nothing, and a few minutes later, he left, and Johnny walked into the kitchen and looked at his mother's face with concern.

“I hate it when you guys fight,” he said sadly.

“Do you blame me? He could have killed your sister.”